Big Time Hangout

Part 25

I shook my head, "I was trying to give him an out. He said he loves me but doesn't want to be with me, so I was trying to make him go away. I gave him every chance to just leave me alone. Why does he keep doing this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

James wrapped his arms around me, "I know but I can't tell you. It's not my place to butt in."

I shook my head, "But someone has to butt in. I don't know what else to do."

James kissed me on the cheek, wiping the tears from them, "We all love you. He is and has been so in love with you from day one. He knew not to push you. He could tell that from the way you were so adamant that you weren't going to date any of us. Then Logan..." His voice dissipated.

I shoved him, "What is it with all of you. Can't any of you say what you want without worrying about how I'm going to take it? Just spit it out already! I put on my big girl panties this morning!"

James shook his head, "I'm sorry but I can't. He is my boy and I'm not going to betray him or his trust."

I shoved James practically knocking him to the floor and screamed, "Then get out and don't come back!"

James headed for the door without a word. I was so furious. The closest thing to me was a lamp and without thinking I picked it up and threw it at the door, shattering it into a million pieces.

Carlos stuck his head in the door, "Are you okay?"

I grabbed the glass I had been drinking out of and threw it at him. It hit the door just as he closed it, barely missing his head.

The next thing I knew I heard Logan on the other side of the door, "I have David so don't throw anything." and he carefully opened the door, coming in with David in his arms. "He wanted to see his momma. He knows there is something going on and wants to be close to you." he said, carefully laying David in my arms.

I looked at David and then at Logan, "I am just so tired."

Logan smiled and kissed me on the forehead, "I will take him so you can get some sleep." He reached for David, and I stopped him, "No not physically tired. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. Do any of you understand why I disappeared when I found out I was pregnant? Look at the mess my life is right now."

I carefully handed him David and started to hyperventilate. Through the shallow breaths I told Logan, "Take him. Raise him to be a good and loving man. I know you will do your best and he will be better without me." and I ran into the bathroom locking the door behind me.

Logan immediately started to knock on the door, "(yn) open the door. You don't know what you're saying. You don't know what you're doing."

I didn't say a word, just sat on the side of the tub, slumping slowly to the floor with tears gushing from my eyes.

I heard Logan scream, "Come get David NOW!"

Through my tears I could hear Carlos, "What is going on?"

Logan said, "Just take David downstairs. Don't bring him back up here." and immediately turned back to beating on the door, "(yn) we just need to calm down and talk about this. Open the door and let's fix this."

I couldn't stop the tears and my body was paralyzed. My mind, on the other hand, was going nonstop. Can I live without my baby? I won't ever be happy again but as long as David is happy and protected that's all that matters.

My thoughts were interrupted by James' voice, "(yn), sweetheart, you need to open the door. We need to know that you're okay."

I heard him talking to Logan, "What the hell happened, dude?"