Secrets (A Severus Snape Story)

Chapter 8 - Pained and Alone

"Miss Hellstrand! I will not have you attacking my students!" Snape shouted, walking quickly towards me. He stood right in front of me and he glared at me.

"Don't forget that I'm one of your damn students too!" I shouted back, rubbing my wrists. Snape noticed and his expression softened. He reached out to grab my wrists, but I pulled back.

"And it's not my fault that Malfoy is a twat! He's the one who tossed something into our cauldron!" I barked, glaring menacingly at him. Snape opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"It was my fault that my temper got out of hand... that usually doesn't happen... So, I could say half of it was my fault... but he did toss something in my cauldron..." I looked down and awkwardly shuffled.

Snape sighed and shook his head. He stepped closer to me, himself only a few inches away. I can smell the distant scent of Firewhisky. Once again, I see he's been drinking...

He backed me up against the wall, his expression hurt. Pain glinted in his eyes as he slowly grabbed my wrists. He gently stared at them, his expression hurt. "I hurt you..." He trailed off and I struggled to find my words.

"Who the hell did this?" Henry demanded, staring at my bruised eye. I bit my lip and looked down. "Nobody." I replied back, tears filling my eyes. Henry gave a stern look and swore quietly. "Was it Dad?" He asked softly, his eyes not leaving mine. I felt cold tears flow down my face as I nodded slowly. Henry growled and his expression hardened. "Don't worry, I'm used to it..." I said softly, grabbing Henry's arm and giving a reassuring smile.

"N-No... it doesn't hurt... I-I'm used to it..." I say quietly, my eyes not leaving his. At times, he can be so mean... but at moments, he can be caring...

His expression soon hardened. "Used to it?! You're used to pain?!" He barked, not letting go of my wrists. I averted eye contact and swore quietly. I said too much.

"You're used to pain?! How long has he been doing this?!" Henry shouted, making me flinch slightly. I hugged him tightly and cried into his shirt. "Please... He'll hurt you too..." I mumbled into his shirt, my voice barely audible.

"Look, just drop it! I don't want to talk about it... It brings back too many m-memories..." My voice cracked, my saddened expression showing. Snape soon let go of my wrists and pointed to the door.

"Go." He simply mumbled, moving out of the way. I curtained my hurt eyes with my hair and walked towards the door.

I didn't say anything as I walked out. If I did, I would have burst out crying. I can't handle all the stress that comes from my past. I try to let go of the past, but I can't... It's too difficult. I just can't...

I didn't want to go back to my dorms. It was getting late, it was nearly dark. Dinner already past and I didn't go, because I didn't feel like seeing him. I also possibly missed his detention... I let him know too much... I wasn't wise on my choice of words...

I went to my peaceful place. The Forbidden Forest, the place where I first saw Snape's soft side-

Why! Every time I think... Snape always come to mind... Snape this! Snape that! He's like a virus in my brain!

I backed myself on a tree and hugged my arms. I don't like this. I don't like being alone. I have nobody. It's so damn difficult to have nobody to rely on! I didn't have parents that cared for me, they took away my damn childhood for fuck's sake! And then my brother- my brother left me!

I punched the mossy tree next to me, which I soon regretted. I winced and whimpered slightly. "I'm such a fuck up!" I growl angrily, rubbing my now throbbing hands. I might actually need to see Madam Pomfrey about this... or I can ignore the pain.