Secrets (A Severus Snape Story)

Chapter 30 - The Order of the Phoenix

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I felt sick and terrible. Not physically sick, but I just... don't feel myself. I slept on the couch in Severus' chambers (which was not comfortable at all) staring at the ceiling, thinking about my life.

What am I doing with my life? Why am I still living? Why haven't I just killed myself and just get rid of all my problems? Instead, I'm still alive and I'm attending school at Hogwarts. I have also figured out that I'm a Druid, something I possibly inherited from my family. Even better, I have to compete in a deadly tournament called the Triwizard Tournament. I mean, I didn't sign up for the tournament. I was picked because some asshat decided to put my name in the Goblet.

The only good thing that has happened in the past few months is Severus. It also turns out that the man I have a crush on since the first few weeks of my arrival at Hogwarts likes me back. Can you believe that? For once, something good has happened in my life.

But then again, that man is nearly two decades older than me... but I don't care. I still like him. I like his personality. Sometimes I wish I was a bit older, so I could be accepted with Severus. I act older sometimes... but it's not the same.

Even then, I still feel comfortable with him. He's kind and polite, like how everyone should be. Every moment I see him when we're alone, I just manage to jump into his arms and just cuddle him to death. To me, he's like a giant, fluffy pillow. Despite him seeming scary and cold, he's actually quite soft to hug.

"Miss Hellstrand! Why are you NOT paying attention in my class!?" Severus shouted, snapping my back to reality. Right, I was in Potions... and I was daydreaming. I was staring out the window and I got lost in my thoughts.

I turned my head from the window and to him. I opened my mouth to give some kind of excuse but he cut me off. "Stay back after class." He turned his back to me. "And detention with me after dinner. I also suggest you start paying attention before I give you detention for the week." In no mood to start arguing, I muttered a small 'yes'.

God, I'm never going to pass Potions, even with Sev tutoring me.

After Potions finished, I stayed back to answer to the Potions Master. We waited for the class to leave before he spoke up. "You must pay attention if you want to pass this call Raven." He scolded sternly, clasping his hands together and staring at me. I shuffled nervously as I stood in front of his desk.

"I was just... lost in thought." I admitted, looking down to the floor. I heard Severus give a deep sigh before I glanced back up at him.

"I'm letting this incident slide, just this once... Next time, I'll have to actually give you detention." He said, staring intently at me. I frowned and nodded once. My mind was still on the Triwizard Tournament and how I will be able to do it.

Severus must have noticed my discomfort, because he opened his arms to me. "Come here." He ordered, a sly smirk playing on his lips. I raised an eyebrow questioningly before I ran over to him, jumping onto his lap.

"So, what were you saying?" I asked, looking up at him. He was cradling me, as if I was a child. Not like I care, I felt safe in his arms.

"Well... I was going to do this." He whispered, leaning closer to me. He smirked deviously before he roughly leaned forwards, catching my lips with his. The kiss was quite passionate, even though satisfying. I wrapped my arms around his neck while he grasped onto my waist. He pulled me closer, if that was possible.

"Wait." I murmured through his kisses. I snapped away from heaven and pulled away abruptly, my hand mindlessly swirling circles on his chest.

I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the door. "Colloportus." I casted on the door, locking the door. For extra safety, I attempted to use my Druid powers and wrap vines around the door knob. It should be nearly impenetrable...