Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄

19 babeyyy

Technically it's passed my birthday already but I've been super busy all day that I didn't even get the chance to stop to write this. It felt like it was required since I started this when I was sixteen! and now I'm nineteen.

I had a great birthday. Usually, my birthdays make me, to be brutally honest, depressed. Whether it's from my family's lack of celebration or personalized gifts, Or just my fear of getting older.

Today I felt much more positive. Don't get me wrong, I still kept getting that dreadful feeling that it was another birthday passed and all that but I've decided that my thoughts of dread are best ignored because that way I get to live a happier, free life without that worry.

I'm trying to say I'm glad to turn nineteen but it's still scary to me and it always will be. I'm sure birthdays will get easier as I get older and come to terms with the way life goes but it's harder as I move away from my teenage years which I love so dearly.

But it doesn't mean my fun is gone, and I certainly know it won't ever leave.
I was super busy with college today but the girls in my course brought me a hot chocolate and Cake, which made me so happy, and another classmate gave me a sticker.
It felt so good to be acknowledged by other people and celebrated. Me and my closest friends hung out at mine and watched films while playing games. I had so much fun and the gifts they got me were just so great, they make me feel so seen and special.

My family got me good gifts too but sometimes I don't think they hear me the way my friends do. Like my mum getting me a black tablet case when I love pink, or my sister buying me the wrong heating pad. Maybe I'm ungrateful for the way I think but sometimes it's bard to come to terms with that stuff when I already suffer from birthday depression. despite that, my mum made food for My friends and I, and I felt so busy on my birthday that I didn't have time to be sad.

I had a great birthday for the first time in years and haven't cried yet. Even if I do, I think, for once, it'll be out of joy for the love around me rather than sadness.

19 will be fun and hopefully bring me great new things.

Love, ...