Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄

18

I turned 18 today. I don't know how to feel. I've cried already and now have a headache.
Everything is the same yet feels so different. I'm an adult, a legal adult that can drink and smoke and drive. It all seems so unfathomable. 18 seemed so far away.

I know I'll be sad about this over the next few weeks but I'm hoping that I'll come to love being 18, the same way I did 17. Maybe I need time to process and appreciate what happened. It's my birthday and I always cry. I get sad that I didn't spend the day right and sat around the house. Everyone was busy, it's fine.

I do feel appreciated with the gifts I received and I have to constantly remind myself to not let the negatives get me down. I don't have to smile and put on a fake positive attitude rather, I can be honest and say I'm sad my day is over. The one day that I feel special and it's all about me (even when it's not)

I truly love and appreciate all the people in my life. It helps me feel better about things. I know they all love me. They all care about me and it's okay to cry. Crying is good. Crying is healthy. Sometimes to accept things we need to cry.

And sometimes things are sad but a happy kinda sad. I'm glad I'm 18 and I'm glad I got to spend my weekend with people that I care about.

I'm sure 18 will bring lots of adventures, some I'm scared to face, I know I'll have to face some alone but that's the point. I'll have to do my own fighting on occasion. I can do it. I just need to love myself and support myself. Even when loving is the hardest thing in the world, I just have to try.

Because if I didn't try then what?

18.