think I've had finally crashed and burned. things were okay? but now I'm not ina completely depressed state but rather an over thinking high anxiety one.
definitely had multiple panick attacks over the past few days without realizing but I'm still alive. Grandparents just left today to head back home and j already miss them but I am delighted to have my beautiful double bed back, gives me the opportunity to be depressed with comfort.
Lucy has rlly just proved that she is just such a totally amazing friend. I mean I keep questioning whether or not shes acc doing things or if I just get annoyed because it's her doing it. Last Friday really blew me up. She was wearing baggy Jean's with a printed white butterfly on the ass, totally stealing my go to pattern jean vibe. I absolutely hate being unoriginal and its fucking kills me to know if anyone copies me, it just bothers me.
Lucy is really good at it and I've been told by other people that she dresses similarly to me. I am all about being your own person and finding a style but not when it was my style. I dont give a shit how selfish that sounds, I havent spent the last 5 years hating myself and finally finding a piece of myself that I could like (my clothes) just to have that shitty bitch dress like my twin. She asked me to go to the gym with her last week aswell and I made up some lame excuse because I truly do not want to go, especially with her.
I extremely enjoy my workouts at home and I feel good doing them. I do not need to be embarrassed or teased by Lucy for anything. I hate my body, why would I want Lucy to have the fuckung opportunity to joke about it.
I have no idea why I'm so fuckjng pissed right now but it just cant leave my head, it's so infuriating. Anyway, fuck life. fuck everything. I just want to be rich with no problems, fuck all the shitty people and throw them out of my life.
Until then mofos
YOU ARE READING
Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄
Non-FictionJust a 18 year old talking about things in my life because talking to people is very uncool and I can't fucking take keeping it in anymore. Everything in this is completely true except for names. I would obviously never reveal them because these are...
