Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄

June 4th 23.27 2023

Tomorrow is the start of my leaving cert.
I started this unusual diary when I was 16 as a way to express my inner thoughts and possibly my metaphoric speech. It's been almost three years since I created this, with no real end in sight.
I've changed significantly since I did, at 16 in transition year, and now in less than two weeks I'll be finishing secondary school forever.

It's a frightening concept, and one that would typically eat me up into one big worry ball. Yet this time, I don't feel that ball growing. It's certainly there with the approaching hardest exams of my life, but it isn't dominating my experience of finishing school and leaving some of the people I've seen everyday for 14 years behind. I don't feel the same crippling dread I would get when a big change infiltrates my life, instead I feel a slight buzz.

I've worked hard, and had fun, for six years to get where I am today. These exams are the final step in my road and I've certainly conquered harder barriers in my lifetime of eighteen years.

I cannot deny that I do feel that anxious tug on my stomach as I lie awake, hoping I'll get a decent sleep for tomorrow.
June 5th, The first day of exams across the country for all sixth year students who feel the same terror that I do. I have to remind myself that whatever happens, I'll still have myself and a dream. When I'm working in my dream job, with my own house, and a love of my own, I won't think back to my english exam and reconsider every sentence I wrote. Life isn't about exams my dear, it's about living.

Summer is soon and I'll finally have the time to be free and do as I please with my time. College and leaving secondary school is a big change. But, I'll walk into my exam tomorrow with three black pens and a buzz, for my future depends on them.

I'll always support you, no matter where life throws us. The most important thing in life is to be kind, and be yourself.
Good luck.