Angry

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I feel so much red, hot anger flushing around me. It keeps circling around in this flurry of hatred, bitterness that comes from a place of evil.

A sick feeling practically hits me, makes me feel like I'm running a fever. I cannot bear watching that awful girl go out and have fun. I want her to suffer. I want her to cry and be miserable for as long and hard as she made me. I try to not focus my energy on her and in a way, I'm sure I hurt her a lot more than she lets on. I took away her whole friendgroup, in one day.

Yeah, I'm a bitch. I don't care anymore. I'm insane in my head but at least I'm not a disgusting person like she is. I feel so angry at her that I want to yell, I want to fight, I want to scream.

Yet. Everyday, I sit and do nothing with myself. Everything I hate about myself stays the same, my skin, my weight, my poor habits. I ask myself, why am I not changing. Is it motivation?

Why am I not taking all my anger and putting it all into my self. The one way that I can truly hurt that bitch is by becoming greater than she will ever be. She's never been like me and never can. She's an immature, flat ass, ugly, dumb, disgusting person who doesn't deserve my attention.

Maybe I'm cruel for saying those things but I don't care anymore. i want to make her cry and feel bad for what she did. I want her to show remorse and not act like her life is fine.
I don't care anymore.

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