Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄

umm what?

I can remember the night before I started my fifth year like it was yesterday, the anxiety eating up at me and I stayed awake half the night with the worst possible things on my mind. The pure dread that I was now an official senior and would be out of that old kip in two years. It terrified me to watch things change before my eyes while I couldn't do anything about it because that's what life is about, moving on and up. 

My fifth year hasn't been as scary as I thought It would be, it certainly has been going by fast but I've had fun along the way. I only have two weeks left until the summer, then it's sixth year, college, and then bye-bye to all these kids I've known my whole life and might never see again. It's sad to admit that it does make me sad as I don't even speak to the majority of them but there's something so comforting about all these unfamiliar people around me that I've spent the last five years growing up with. 

Things have been looking up recently. I told some friends about what happened between me and Lucy and they took my side, making me feel better about the whole situation. They even recalled times when she had been ignorant towards them or hurt their feelings. It made me feel supported which is always a nice feeling. 

My friends and I are going to England for a holiday in the summer to stay with my grandparents. It still doesn't feel real but the tickets are booked and we are definitely going. I just can't believe it at all. I think it will be extremely exciting to show them all the town I love so much and I'm truly looking forward to it. 

I've been getting friendly with someone I used to like and was previously friends with. We talk every day and text often. It feels like we are close and I'm happy to have someone close to me again that isn't part of my friend group. Plus, they are really cool. 

My life has been good recently and even if my mam and brother now have covid, things have been well. I am terrified of exams but I'll get over them soon enough. Things are looking up and even if it's not forever, it's nice to have it now. 

As always, Go fuck yourself 

Love you