Marvel One-Shots

Fosterson (Jane Foster + Thor Odinson)

Title: Thor’s Kitchen Misadventures

Jane Foster was knee-deep in research when she heard a loud THUD from the kitchen, followed by the sound of something shattering. With a resigned sigh, she knew her boyfriend, Thor, the God of Thunder, was at it again.

“Thor! What happened?” she called out, trying to suppress a grin.

“I attempted to summon breakfast!” he bellowed, his voice echoing through the apartment. “But it appears that Midgard’s food storage is not as compliant as I had hoped!”

Jane walked into the kitchen to find Thor standing amidst a spectacular disaster. Cereal was scattered across the floor, a carton of milk was overturned, and a loaf of bread was precariously lodged on top of his head.

“How does one get a loaf of bread stuck on their head?” she asked, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

Thor straightened up and puffed out his chest. “It is a badge of honor, Jane! I valiantly fought against this loaf, but it has proven to be a formidable foe!”

Jane burst out laughing, unable to help herself. “A formidable foe? I didn’t know the God of Thunder had such a hard time with breakfast!”

“I was merely unprepared for its cunning tactics!” Thor insisted, swatting at the bread dramatically. “But fear not! I shall vanquish this mess!”

With that, he brandished Mjölnir, his enchanted hammer, as if it were a mighty broom. “Watch as I summon the power of Asgard to clean this kitchen!”

“Thor, wait—” Jane started, but it was too late. With a flourish, Thor swung Mjölnir in a wide arc, sending a gust of wind through the room. In one mighty sweep, the cereal, milk, and bits of bread flew through the air and into the trash can with perfect precision.

Jane’s jaw dropped in amazement. “You just cleaned the entire kitchen with one swing of your hammer!”

Thor grinned triumphantly, raising Mjölnir above his head like a trophy. “Behold! The power of the God of Thunder! No mess is too great for Mjölnir!”

“I’m impressed,” Jane said, crossing her arms and trying to hide her smile. “You could have just used a broom, you know.”

“Nay! This is far more heroic!” Thor declared, placing Mjölnir back on the counter with a flourish.

Jane stepped closer, trying to contain her laughter. “Right, because every hero must battle breakfast disasters with hammers.”

Thor puffed out his chest again, an exaggerated expression of pride on his face. “Indeed! And I have emerged victorious!”

“Victorious over… cereal?” Jane asked, chuckling.

“Yes! And now, I shall prepare a feast worthy of Asgard!” he proclaimed, opening the pantry and rummaging through the shelves.

“Maybe we should just order takeout,” Jane suggested, watching him curiously as he pulled out a box of instant ramen and a can of beans. “That’s usually a safer bet.”

“Takeout? What sorcery is this?” Thor asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“It’s food you order from a restaurant so you don’t have to cook,” Jane explained. “Trust me, it’s a lot less messy.”

Thor looked at the beans and ramen, then back at Jane. “Very well! I shall wield my phone to summon this takeout!”

Jane laughed as Thor confidently picked up her phone. “Just don’t accidentally order ten tons of fish or something,” she teased.

“I will only order the finest Midgardian cuisine!” he declared, glancing at the screen with a serious expression. “What do you suggest?”

“How about pizza? It’s a classic,” she suggested.

“Pizza! A dish of great renown!” Thor exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. “And with cheese! I shall have this pizza at once!”

As he continued to navigate the phone, Jane couldn’t help but admire how adorable he looked, trying so hard to master the technology of Earth.

Finally, he set the phone down triumphantly. “The pizza is on its way! Now, let us await this feast with great anticipation.”

They both collapsed onto the couch, Jane leaning against Thor, who still had a few flecks of flour on his cheek. “You know, you’re surprisingly effective with Mjölnir when it comes to cleaning.”

Thor smiled, his expression softening. “I shall conquer any kitchen disaster for you!”

“Just maybe use the hammer for more heroic battles next time?” she suggested with a grin.

Thor chuckled, pulling her closer. “Aye! But know this: if ever you face a fearsome loaf of bread again, I shall be there!”