Marvel One-Shots

A Pint-Sized Problem

It was just another day at the Avengers Compound. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Steve Rogers was... missing?

“Where’s Rogers?” Clint asked, swinging into the kitchen with an apple in hand. “He’s usually up at 5 AM doing push-ups and making the rest of us look bad.”

Natasha, who was lazily scrolling through her phone, glanced up. “Maybe he’s finally taking a day off.”

“I doubt that,” Tony chimed in, sipping his morning coffee. “Cap’s allergic to relaxing.”

Suddenly, the door to the living room burst open, and in walked a toddler. A very familiar-looking toddler, with a mop of blonde hair, an oversized shield strapped to his tiny back, and an adorably serious expression on his face.

“Guys...” the toddler’s voice squeaked, “I think something went wrong.”

Clint dropped his apple, Tony spat out his coffee, and Natasha... well, Natasha just stared.

“Is that—?” Clint began.

“Steve?” Tony finished, leaning in to get a better look. “Why are you... bite-sized?”

Steve, who was now about three feet tall, sighed and rubbed his miniature face. “I’m not sure. One minute I’m testing out some new tech Banner was working on, and the next, I’m this.”

Natasha finally stood up, her face unreadable as she crossed the room. She knelt down, coming face-to-face with the toddler-sized Captain America.

“Well, well, well,” she said, barely containing her laughter. “The mighty Captain Rogers, in need of a babysitter.”

Steve glared at her—or at least tried to. It was hard to look intimidating when your shield was bigger than your body.

“This isn’t funny, Nat.”

Natasha smirked. “Oh, I disagree. This is very funny.”

Before Steve could protest further, the door opened again, and in walked Bruce Banner, holding some sort of device.

“Okay, okay, I think I figured out what went wrong—oh my god, Steve?” Bruce’s eyes widened as he saw the toddler-sized Avenger.

“Fix it, Banner,” Steve grumbled, crossing his tiny arms.

Bruce looked apologetic. “It’s... going to take a few hours to reverse the process. Maybe a day.”

“A day?” Steve squeaked, his voice cracking. “What am I supposed to do until then?”

Tony, ever the opportunist, grinned. “Well, you know what they say, Cap. When life gives you toddlers...”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“Oh, I’m finishing it. You babysit.”

—————————

Three hours later, the compound was in chaos. Clint had somehow convinced toddler-Steve to try skateboarding (disaster), Tony was documenting every second of the ordeal for 'science' (a bigger disaster), and Natasha... well, Natasha was having the time of her life.

At some point, she had outfitted Steve in a tiny Avengers onesie, complete with a miniature version of his suit. Steve looked mortified.

“Look at him!” Natasha called out to Tony, who was filming from a safe distance. “He’s so cute, I can barely handle it.”

“I’m not cute,” Steve grumbled, attempting to cross his arms over his chest, but the onesie made it awkward. “I’m a grown man.”

“Sure you are,” Natasha teased, ruffling his blonde hair.

As Steve tried (and failed) to swat her hand away, Bruce finally re-entered the room, looking sheepish but triumphant.

“Good news,” Bruce said. “I think I’ve got the antidote ready.”

Steve’s eyes lit up. “Finally!”

Bruce handed over a small vial of glowing liquid. “Just drink this, and you should be back to normal in no time.”

Steve wasted no time gulping it down, though the vial looked comically oversized in his tiny hands. For a moment, nothing happened. And then—

Poof!

Steve grew back to his full height, shield still strapped to his back and an extremely grumpy expression on his face. He towered over everyone once more.

“Well, that was... humiliating,” Steve muttered, stretching out his arms.

Natasha, still holding the tiny Avengers onesie, grinned up at him. “I don’t know, I think you pulled it off.”

“Yeah, you were adorable,” Clint added, trying not to laugh.

Tony, of course, was still filming. “This is going to get so many hits.”

Steve groaned. “I’m never testing out your tech again, Banner.”

Bruce just shrugged. “At least now we know what happens.”

As Steve began to leave the room, Natasha called after him, waving the onesie in the air. “Hey, Cap? Keep this as a souvenir!”

Steve didn’t even turn around. “Burn it.”

As the door closed behind him, Tony turned to Natasha and Clint with a wide grin. “Well, I think that was a pretty successful day. We should definitely shrink Rogers more often.”

Natasha chuckled, tossing the onesie onto the couch. “Don’t push your luck, Stark. Next time, you might be the one wearing it.”

And with that, the Avengers enjoyed a rare moment of peace—until, of course, the next inevitable disaster struck.