Marvel One-Shots

Romanogers (Romanoff + Rogers)

Title: Conspiracies At The Zoo

Natasha Romanoff stood with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed at the meerkats running around their enclosure. She had clearly never been to the zoo before.

Beside her, Steve Rogers munched on his popcorn, looking like he was enjoying the peaceful day out.

It was a rare day off from the chaos of Avenger life, and Steve thought a trip to the zoo with Natasha would be a nice break. He hadn’t counted on Natasha's sharp instincts turning the outing into an investigation.

"What do you think they’re in for?" Natasha asked, her voice low and suspicious.

Steve blinked, momentarily thrown off by the question. "What are you talking about?"

Natasha gestured toward the meerkats, her face dead serious. "What did they do?"

"Uh..." Steve tilted his head, watching the little animals scurry around. "Dig? Eat bugs? Nat, this isn’t a prison."

Natasha’s eyebrows arched. "So they can leave whenever they want?"

Steve frowned, realizing where this was going. "Well, no, but—"

Natasha’s eyes zeroed in on a particularly twitchy meerkat standing on its hind legs, looking around like it was about to flee the scene.

She pointed at it. "That one definitely murdered someone."

Steve nearly choked on his popcorn. "What?! Natasha, come on, it’s just a meerkat."

Natasha tilted her head, watching the meerkat with the intensity of someone tailing a criminal.

"Look at him, Steve. That’s not normal. He’s seen things."

Steve rubbed his face, holding back a laugh. "Nat, we’re at a zoo, not an interrogation room. It’s just an animal."

Natasha gave him a side-eye. "You’re too trusting, Rogers. You don’t get to the top of the food chain by being innocent."

Steve couldn't believe this. "They're not even predators! What do you think it's planning?"

"Escape, obviously," Natasha said, as if it were the most logical thing in the world. "And probably taking out the zookeepers on the way. He’s got that look."

Steve watched as the meerkat scratched at the ground, digging lazily. "Yeah, sure, real criminal mastermind," he said with a grin. "Let’s see what the penguins are up to. Bet they’ve got an international conspiracy going, huh?"

Natasha turned her sharp gaze toward the penguin exhibit, her eyes narrowing in thought. "Penguins? Definitely."

Steve dragged a hand down his face. "Nat, I was kidding."

Natasha shrugged. "I’m not."

"Of course not," Steve sighed, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the reptiles. "Let’s go look at something that definitely can’t be involved in a plot. Like, I don’t know, a turtle."

They approached the tortoise enclosure, and Steve gestured to the giant, slow-moving creature inside.

"Look at that. Can’t be more innocent than a tortoise, right? Slow, steady, eats leaves. No criminal intent here."

Natasha squinted at the tortoise, clearly unconvinced. "Or it's the perfect cover. Moves so slow no one suspects it."

Steve gawked at her. "It’s a tortoise, Nat. What could it possibly be hiding?"

Natasha crossed her arms. "Could be a sleeper agent. Biding its time."

Steve groaned. "You’re impossible."

As they wandered through the zoo, Steve continued trying to distract Natasha from her conspiracy theories.

The butterflies were apparently "too graceful, definitely hiding something," and the giraffes were "watching everything from up high—perfect surveillance tools."

By the time they reached the lion exhibit, Steve was ready to give up. "Alright, lions. Majestic, regal. No way you’re finding anything suspicious about them."

Natasha studied the lounging lions for a moment, and Steve braced himself for another outlandish theory.

But to his surprise, she finally relaxed. "Nope. The lions are fine."

Steve blinked. "Wait... really? No secret plots? No shady business?"

Natasha gave him a small smile. "They're just basking in the sun, being kings. Nothing wrong with that."

Steve let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you. See? Some animals are just—"

Natasha cut him off, nodding toward a nearby zookeeper. "But that guy? Definitely hiding something."

Steve groaned, rubbing his temples. "I should’ve known."