~Male crush x male reader~

Stage Fright (fluff + angst)

A/N 1: this story is based around stage fright and involves a panic attack, so if that could trigger you, I wouldn't recommend reading this.

Alex_Ratedo request

Y/N POV:

" 'I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but are you sure it was an accident?' "

I think over the way I said the line and I groan to myself frustratedly, clutching at my clothes.

"Let's try this again; 'I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but are you sure it was an accent?' Wait, accent? That's not right. Why did I say that?"

I sit down in the chair behind me and lean back, looking up at the ceiling and trying to take a deep breath.

" 'I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but are you sure it was an accident?' Alright, not bad. Let's move on to the next line."

I clear my throat before practicing my next line.

" 'My specialty's murder, ma'am.' I didn't put nearly enough energy into that. The audience could fall asleep with how boring I sound here. What on earth is wrong with me today?"

Just as I'm about to say the line again when I hear the dressing room door open & close. I look up, my heart somehow racing more at the sight of C/N.

"C/N? Did you need something?"

"I just came in to make sure your makeup was done. You look stressed though. Everything alright?"

I hesitate for a moment before shaking my head.

"Not really."

C/N grabs the chair from in front of the vanity and pulls it next to me, sitting down and looking at me.

"Talk to me, then. What's bothering you?"

"I just can't seem to get these lines right. Like, at all."

"How so?"

"I can't get my lines right, and when I do they all sound super boring. I can't get the tone of my voice right, and I'm talking way too fast in most of them... It's just a mess. I'm a mess."

C/N places his hand on my knee in a comforting gesture.

"I'm sure it'll be alright, Y/N. You're an amazing actor."

I slightly blush at the compliment, giving him a small, shy smile.

"Thanks... By the way, C/N, how long do I have until my scene?"

C/N pulls his phone out and turns it on, glancing at his clock before looking at me again.

"About 20 minutes or so. Why?"

⚠️Panic attack warning ⚠️

My blood runs cold with dread, my chest starting to ache as I start to feel tremors in my hands.

Dammit, not now.

"Shit shit shit..."

"Y/N? What's wrong?"

My heart slams against the front of my chest, my limbs weakening until they feel like jello. My eyes screw shut as the pain in my chest intensifies to the point that I can barely handle it, almost making me feel like I'm dying. I grip my wrist tightly in a futile effort to ground myself, the pain only making me feel that much worse.

"Panic– panic attack... Help... N-need help..."

C/N gets down onto his knees in front of me, carefully taking my perspiring hands in his and caressing the backs of mine with his thumbs. I see his lips moving, but I can't process a word he's saying through the utter terror rushing through my veins.