My Sunflower *h.s*

60

Hi everyone. I hope you're all doing okay. I know the past couple days have been hard for many of us. I know it's been difficult for me. My adult self is grieving for the little girl who fell in love with One Direction, and I know many of you feel the same way. I've been seeing some insane things online and I just want to remind everyone that Liam was a person, and he left behind a family. No matter how you feel about Liam himself, please remember to be respectful towards his friends and family.

If any of you need anyone to talk to, my messages are open. Or, please feel free to chat with each other on this story.

I love you all, please take care of yourselves and remember to be kind to everyone else who may be grieving.

There will be another note at the end of this chapter that will have important information in it, so please read it!! Now onto the chapter

***

Molly

Isabelle and I are alone again today, Harry has been busy at the studio and preparing for the upcoming album and everything that comes with it. There's only three more months until the first single, 'Lights Up' releases in October. So unfortunately for the foreseeable future Isabelle and I will be alone.

And although this is still daunting and scary for me, I've been using my coping skills to get through the long days with just the two of us. Thankfully, now that she's about three months things have gotten a tiny bit easier. She's sleeping for longer stretches and she's more easily entertained by toys or music, especially music. She is definitely her fathers daughter in that aspect.

But there is one thing she hates, tummy time.

And unfortunately for her, and me, we have to do it a couple times a day. And every time we do it she screams her head off. The first couple times I did it I ended it early and waited for Harry because it was too much for me. But I brought it up with my therapist and she suggested wearing headphones to help muffle the noise. I was hesitant at first, worried I would miss something and then that made my anxiety worse.

Once I was semi-calm she explained to me that wearing headphones did not make me a bad mum. She said that the headphones don't have to be playing anything, but if I put them on then it'll help muffle all the sounds, not make the sounds fully go away. That way I can still hear her a little bit but it won't be overstimulating and hopefully it'll help with my anxiety. Plus, as long as I'm near her I'll be able to tell if something is wrong.

The next time we did tummy time I tried it and never went back.

So now here I am, sitting next to Belle on the floor with my headphones in. She's screaming, as to be expected, but it's not as loud.

"Just a few more minutes baby, then we can go do something else."

I started to hum along to one of Harry's new songs, which helped Belle calm down a little bit. She was still crying but it was just a little softer.

Like I said, she loves music.

Once the timer went off I took out my headphones and scooped up Belle, putting her in the bouncer seat. I made sure she was secure in it before turning it on, watching as it swayed her side to side. Slowly her cries softened until she stopped crying completely. I put on her favorite music, a mix of one direction and Harry's last album.

Once I was sure she was happy and secure I breathed out a sigh of relief, plopping myself onto the couch and shutting my eyes for a second.

Because I've been alone all day I haven't had much of a chance to relax and close my eyes. Belle had me up a few times in the night to eat and then Harry was up and out of the house early to get to the studio. I know I'm meant to nap while Belle naps but I was trying to get caught up on housework, which I now regret because I'm exhausted.