My Sunflower *h.s*

56

Molly

"Come to the studio with me today."

I opened my eyes at the sound of his voice, blinking a little to get rid of the blurriness in my vision from shaving my eyes closed for so long. I was laying on my stomach with my head turned to the side, half of my face pushed into my pillow.

Harry was laying next to me on his side, his head propped up with one of his arms while his other scratched my bare back, the sheet bunched up at my waist.

"What?" My voice came out slightly muffled due to the pillow under me. I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly because of how relaxed I was and how quiet it is in our bedroom. It's still early but given it's summer time the sun is shining bright through our curtains.

Isabelle was up really early this morning but after I fed her Harry was able to get her to go back to sleep for hopefully a couple more hours. Thankfully we've sort of figured out a routine with her, which has been helping with my anxiety and depression surrounding Isabelle and being a mother. It's definitely gotten a little better but its also still there most days, and some days are worse than others.

The other day, right after we got back from our camping trip, I had a full on panic attack over something so small and insignificant. We had gotten home late from the drive home the night before and Isabelle woke us up screaming while it was still dark out, and I tried everything I could to get her to calm down and go back to bed and nothing was working. That is, until Harry swooped in and starting singing and she calmed down within minutes.

I just felt so useless in that moment that I just started crying and I couldn't stop. Eventually I was able to calm myself down with Harry's help and then he sat me down and we talked it out, which is where I was able to realize I reacted so drastically because I was tired and she was probably just cranky because we were gone for a couple days.

The rest of the week we by relatively smooth, thankfully.

"Come to the studio with me, both you and Belle." He smiled at me, the sunshine fading in creating a soft glow on his skin, making his cheeks and lips a little more rosy, the green in his eyes shining.

"How come?" I twisted my head a little bit so I could get a better look at him, but not enough to shift out of my very comfortable position. His fingers kept their steady pace up and down my skin, making me want to just lay in bed with him all day, alternating between sleeping and talking.

"Because I need to go in today and I don't like spending so much time away from you both, plus I feel bad that you stay here with the baby all the time." I softened my face at him as he eyes drifted away from my face to focus on watching his fingers on my back.

"It's not as bad anymore."

"I know, but I still feel bad. I'm her father and I should be helping more and spending time with her more." I smiled a little, reaching my hand up to rest it on his cheek. His eyes finally met mine and I saw an emotion I haven't seen in him in a while, guilt and maybe a little bit of doubt.

"You help plenty and you spend more than enough time with her." I pushed a piece of his hair behind his ear, seeing him smile a little bit at my words, but what I said next made his smile widen, "but okay, we'll go with you today. What time do we need to leave?"

"Around noon, so we have some time." He took his hand off my back and he groaned, making him laugh as he reached over me to grab the baby monitor on the bedside table. "And. . . she's still sound asleep, so it looks like we have some more time for ourselves. . ." He showed me the monitor, the little screen showing Belle laying on her back, a pacifier in her mouth and her chest rising and falling at a steady pace.