My Sunflower *h.s*

61

Molly

I've been spending all my time at the studio. Well, most of my time.

Harry and I fell into a routine the past week or so that whenever he went to the studio, Belle and I tagged along. He's been spending so much time here and using so much of his energy to get this album completed. If she and I never came we would never see him.

She and I have fallen into a routine while we spend our days here. In the mornings we make our selves comfortable on the couch and just talk to everyone and then she eats and has a nap, and then around lunch time we either eat with Harry or she and I go for a walk and grab some food out, and then we just listen and watch Harry until he's done. We even brought the travel bassinet and some other supplies to leave at the studio so when we come Belle has everything she needs.

I've been doing my best to be supportive while he finishes this project, and I know it means a lot to him and he wants it to be perfect for his fans. But sometimes I can't help but be selfish and wish he was home more with us. One part of me wishes he was home so he and I could spend time together, and another part of me wishes he was home more so he could take care of Belle.

I've been slowly getting better when around Belle. My PPD and PPA is still around and it affects me daily, but I've been learning how to be a mum while living with PPD and PPA. My therapist is helping a lot with my coping skills, and Erica comes over to help with the baby and things around the house whenever she can. But other than that, it's mostly just me and Belle.

My therapist keeps telling me to talk to Harry, tell him how I'm feeling and to see if we can work anything out, like possibly getting me some help at home. But I've been holding back on telling him. I feel like if I talk to him about it, I'm just admitting that I'm not a good mum and I can't handle this on my own.

And I know I can, just like every other woman who became a mum. And there are so many other women who have it far worse than I do. I feel like I have no room to complain, I have everything I could ever need and more. I don't havre to worry about money, a roof over my head, and I have an amazing partner. I just need to get through these next few months and then hopefully everything will get better.

"Hello my little honey bee." I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Harry's voice. I looked up to see him leaning down and smiling at Belle. He reached his finger out and let her hold it. "Hi, baby." He lifted his head to smile at me.

"Hi." I smiled back and he leaned in to give me a kiss before looking back to Belle.

"C'mere little lady." He gently slid his hands under her, lifting her from my arms. She started cooing and babbling at him, smiling as he brushed his nose against hers. Her little hands going to grab his cheeks. "Have you been good for your mumma this morning? Huh?" She kept cooing and babbling at him with a smile, "Oh? Tell me more."

I smiled as I watched them fondly, both of them smiling at each other with the same exact smiles. Seeing them like this is another reason why I wish he was home more often, so I could watch these moments all day long.

"Have you eaten lunch yet?" He looked towards me while Belle played with his finger.

"No, not yet."

"Do you ladies want some company?" He looked at Belle quickly then looked back at me with a raised eyebrow. I smiled at him, standing up straighter.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded, motioning to everyone else leaving the room, "everyone is going out to get lunch today."