My Sunflower *h.s*

15

Molly - 11 weeks pregnant

It's late at night, past midnight and I can't sleep. Which is a common occurrence for me by this point. I'm still feeling the nausea and I've gotta pee like every hour, which is enough to keep me up. But now I'm dealing with my boobs hurting constantly, I can't wear bras or tight shirts for long periods of time and I can't lay on my stomach either. I really need to go shopping for new clothes, start stocking up on bigger clothes for these coming months. Most of my shirts fit fine aside from the visibility of my bump in some of them. But pants are a different story, the baby is sitting low which means the biggest part of my bump is where I need to button most pants. Plus I have the added difficulty of being bloated and having constant food babies.

When we first got here Erica and I went out to buy some more stuff for my room and buy storage items. I knew I'd need more clothes sooner or later so I just went ahead and bought some boxes that are slim enough to slide under my bed. So instead of sleeping, I was sorting through my clothes. Pulling out clothes I knew fit too snug for me and putting them into the boxes then sliding them back under the bed. By the end of it my closet was about half full as well as my dresser, which is good since I'm planning on going shopping for clothes this week. Luckily I don't need to shop in a maternity store just yet, I can just buy from my usual stores a size or two bigger.

Once I was fully finished putting clothes away and reorganizing, I checked the time. Woohoo, two in the morning. Fantastic. Well, I guess I should get used to a lack of sleep, seeing as once the baby gets here I probably won't be sleeping much.

Harry has been amazing, per usual. He's been home most of the time, helping me get situated in my room and making sure I'm comfortable in the house. He's even letting me one of his cars, which is really helpful. I didn't have a car in Seattle, but I didn't need it. I was like a fifteen minute walk from everywhere I needed to be. But now everything is like a fifteen minute drive, and it's not realistic for me to ask Harry to take me wherever I need to go.

Mitch and Sarah have been over a lot too, but they're the only people I've seen besides Harry. They're the only two who know about my pregnancy and although Harry trusts the rest of his team, he wants to minimize the threat of it getting leaked before we have a chance to announce it ourselves. Which we still need to meet with his manager about, figure out the best time to announce it and the best way to do it. I'm nervous for it, especially now that I may or may not like Harry. I feel like this would be easier if I had very little attachments to him. But now I have multiple, the baby, the fact that I live with him, and the fact that I'm catching feelings for him.

I also don't want him to get hurt, whether thats emotionally or in terms of his career. I really don't want our baby to make him push his career away. I know he said he wouldn't, but I get the feeling that he would drop everything in an instant as soon as the baby comes. And I really don't want him to do that. I would feel guilty if he did so and his fans would forever resent me for it. And since they're already going to resent me for the sheer fact that I'm carrying his baby, I don't really want to give them another reason to hate me.

I got up from the floor where I've been laying for a while and quietly opened my door, tiptoeing down the hallway and to the stairs. I made my way into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and some ice cream I bought the other day. I did my usual routine, standing in the kitchen in dim lighting, secretly eating ice cream. Harry tends to do to bed relatively early so its been really easy for me to eat ice cream without him knowing. If he knew he would make me put it away and eat something healthier. I swear all he does lately is look up things about pregnancy, I even think he downloaded an app that informs you about your pregnancy week by week. I'm sure of this because the other day he informed me about how big the baby was, and possible symptoms. Its cute that he's doing that, and also cute that he wants to inform me even though I'm the one experiencing it all first hand. I shouldn't complain though, at least he's interested and is actively trying to be involved.