Pardon The Way That I Stare

Panic

The warm, sulfur-tinted breeze swept across the deck of the cruise ship as the residents of Hazbin Hotel wandered toward the pool area. Laughter and shouts echoed through the air as some of the guests raced toward the towering waterslides that spiraled into the pool below.

Lucifer trailed behind the others, still getting used to the idea of being on a cruise in Hell's version of paradise. His bright, rubber-duck-patterned shorts and shirt stood out against the darker tones of the infernal setting, but he didn't mind. It was meant to be fun, after all.

Alastor, as usual, walked with a calm, deliberate pace beside him. He hadn't changed into anything resembling swimwear, instead opting to keep his suit on, though his jacket had been discarded somewhere along the way.

"You're not going in the water?" Lucifer asked, glancing at Alastor.

Alastor chuckled lightly, his eyes scanning the pool with mild disdain. "I'm not much of a swimmer, Lucifer. I prefer... dry land."

Lucifer rolled his eyes playfully. "Of course you do. Can't risk messing up the hair, right?"

Alastor's grin widened, and he gave a mock bow. "Precisely."

Charlie and Vaggie were already by the pool, waving them over. Husk, Angel, and a few others were lounging by the side, while Niffty busily set out towels and drinks for everyone. Lucifer could see the waterslides looming ahead, twisting and turning high above the pool. His gaze flickered to Alastor, half-expecting the Radio Demon to vanish the moment water was involved, but to his surprise, Alastor followed him toward the pool's edge.

Lucifer stripped off his button-up shirt, leaving just his "Big Duck Energy" T-shirt and shorts. The sun above glinted off the water, casting shimmering reflections on the surface. He was just about to join Charlie by the pool when he noticed something that stopped him in his tracks.

Alastor was standing near the edge, his sleeves rolled up as if considering dipping a hand in, when Lucifer's eyes fell on something he hadn't noticed before. Alastor had unbuttoned his shirt slightly, revealing pale, thin scars crisscrossing his chest, like old battle wounds. They were faint but unmistakable, barely visible beneath the collar of his shirt.

Lucifer's brows furrowed, his curiosity getting the better of him. He stepped closer to Alastor, his voice low. "Alastor... those scars..."

Alastor paused, his expression stiffening for a fraction of a second before he turned to Lucifer with that ever-present smile. "Ah, these? Just... remnants from another life, dear Lucifer."

Lucifer's eyes lingered on the scars, the question on his lips unspoken but heavy in the air. He waited, giving Alastor a moment to elaborate.

Alastor's gaze flickered, the faintest hint of something darker passing through his crimson eyes. "They're from my victims, you see," he said in a soft, almost casual tone. "A few of them... didn't take kindly to their fate. They fought back, tried to escape. But, well, you know how that ended."

Lucifer blinked, absorbing the weight of Alastor's words. He hadn't expected that answer—though, in hindsight, he wasn't sure what he had expected. Still, the casual way Alastor mentioned it, as if it were just another day, made Lucifer's stomach twist.

"Do they bother you?" Lucifer asked quietly.

Alastor tilted his head, considering the question. "No. They remind me of what I am. What I've done. They are part of me, just as my past is." He paused, his smile faltering just slightly as he glanced down at his chest. "Though, I suppose... they do unsettle some."

Lucifer's throat tightened, unsure how to respond. He could sense that, beneath Alastor's usual mask, there was a depth to him—a darkness that he kept hidden, even from himself. And yet, despite everything, despite the revelations and the past, Lucifer felt drawn to him.

Before Lucifer could say anything more, Charlie's voice rang out from across the pool. "Come on, Dad! Waterslide time!"

Lucifer turned, seeing her standing at the top of the towering slide, waving him over. He shot Alastor one last glance, then gave him a small nod. "Guess I'll see you in the pool," he said with a grin, heading toward the slide.

Alastor watched as Lucifer jogged away, his smile slipping the moment Lucifer's back was turned. His eyes followed Lucifer as he climbed up the waterslide ladder, watching the way the sunlight glinted off his shirt, the silly "Big Duck Energy" logo still managing to make Alastor smirk despite himself. He leaned against the railing, crossing his arms as he observed from a distance, his heart pounding with a sensation he hadn't felt in a long time.

Panic.

It wasn't just the usual thrill of manipulation or control that came with his games. No, this was something else entirely. This was the kind of feeling that made him uncomfortable. The kind of feeling that made him vulnerable.

Alastor's fingers twitched slightly as he stood there, watching Lucifer interact with Charlie, seeing him laugh with Angel and Vaggie. He couldn't help but admire the way Lucifer seemed so... open. So unguarded in these moments. And it unsettled him.

*What is happening to me?* Alastor thought, his grin tightening, though no one could see the nervousness creeping into his thoughts. He was used to being in control—control of his emotions, his desires, his entire being. But when Lucifer was around, that control seemed to slip, even if just a little.

And the worst part was, Alastor wasn't sure if he liked it or hated it.

He watched as Lucifer finally went down the waterslide, splashing into the pool below with a loud cheer. The others joined in, laughter and fun filling the air. But all Alastor could focus on was the twisting feeling in his chest—an unfamiliar tightness that he had no idea how to deal with.

Lucifer climbed out of the pool, shaking water from his hair, and as he did, he caught Alastor's eye from across the deck. Their gazes locked for a brief, fleeting moment, and Alastor felt his breath catch in his throat.

Lucifer gave him a lopsided grin, as if silently inviting him to join in the fun. But Alastor just waved it off, smiling that same charming smile as if nothing was wrong.

But everything was wrong.

And for the first time in his afterlife, Alastor had no idea how to handle it.