Lightspeed: Drug Detectives

Chapter 3 (Act I): The Fastest Girl Alive

What's up, everyone? It's your girl Ariel Axilas, and welcome back to another chapter of my second story, "Lightspeed: Drug Detectives"! Last time, I had an absolutely ass-kicking birthday party courtesy of my pal, my friend, my confidant, my buddy, my chum, and my lifelong platonic life-partner, Erica Shields! I'll admit.....I was not expecting her to put together something so big, but I wouldn't put it past her. The girl may suck ass at driving, but she sure knows how to show me a good time! .....Yes, I know that didn't sound right. Did I mention I'd been overworked prior to that party? Yeah. Forgive me if I'm not exactly considering every single one of my words down to the letter, or if I'm not being impeccably meticulous with every word arrangement that exits my mouth.

Erica tried to get onto my case about the author's existence again. I kept insisting that I was right, but she just didn't believe me. Just like everyone else......oh, well. At least she doesn't make fun of me, like Marle from the Mastermind Conspiracy does. God, I am not looking forward to the next time she calls in.....whenever that is. She then told me a story about how a taxi driver deliberately tried to drive Erica's fare up when she trusted him to get her to the MIT campus on time.....thankfully, she filed a suit against him and came out on top. The fucking jerk tried to scam her.....imagine if I'd been there. There would've been hell to pay. Speaking of "hell to pay", Erica and I were then approached by a distressed guest who'd gotten his black backpack stolen by another patron, and after I confronted said patron, I challenged him to a dance-off to get it back. The fucker couldn't even pull off a windmill before dislocating his shoulder and having to be hauled away by a stretcher.....which was exactly how he threatened to make me end up, by the way. Can you say "karma"? Anyways, all's well that ends well; I won the dance-off—on a technicality—got back the backpack, made the distressed guest happy, and then left the party to return home and get some sleep on Erica's urging.

.....Until I passed by a T.J.Maxx store and saw some snot-nosed employees trying to steal some of their own business's inventory right from underneath their manager's nose. That chapter ended with me taking out my sick costume and preparing to chase them down; let's see how well this goes, shall we? Spoiler alert: I win.

Whoops. Guess I just spoiled this entire novel. ......Or did I? Anyway, let's do this! Lights, camera, ACTION!

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-Alewife Parkway, Cambridge, Massachusetts-

The three dark blue vans that had pilfered numerous items and furniture pieces from the nearby T.J.Maxx store sped down Alewife Parkway; because of the late hour, there weren't a lot of cars out and about anymore, which only made their escape markedly easier.

The first of the three mostly contained cooking supplies. From pots to pans to meat tenderizers, cutting boards, and rolling pins, it seemed like the only things missing from that van were the items too big to fit, such as fridges, stoves, and ovens. If this crime wasn't cleaned up soon, customers would be arriving the next day to knives with no boards, pot and pan lids—with no pots or pans to accompany them—and empty shelves formerly filled with silverware.

The second contained clothes of all sizes and types for men, women, and children. Polo shirts, jeans, joggers, T-shirts, shorts, skirts, and dresses.....the robbers clearly did not want to leave a single stone unturned, and were likely only limited by the space of the vehicles they brought with them.

Lastly, the third of the three dark blue vans contained furniture.....but only furniture that would feasibly fit in the back. Things like tall lamps, ceiling fans, small dressers, and a stack of rather high-end chairs could be seen through the back windows, and extra pillows and cushions took up the remaining empty space between the van's actual seats.