Lightspeed: Drug Detectives

Chapter 29 (Act III): I Want To Speak To The Manager

You read the name of the chapter right, everybody! This time, we go full Karen mode on these miners' asses! My name is Ariel Axilas, and welcome back to yet another chapter of my second novel, "Lightspeed: Drug Detectives"! Last time, my best friend Erica Shields and I made it to the second quadrant of the Solionite Mines, while Herman's still off planting explosives around the entire underground complex. I left Erica to take care of the remaining miners that were left standing after our initial entry assault—after I saw her take down three miners earlier, I'm certain she can handle herself out there—while I went to the central pit within the second quadrant to confront the second of the three "heads", dubbed as the General.

Apparently, he literally just looks like a blue version of the Foreman. Like, actually. Down to the exact same horned helmet and set of armor. Foreman was green, General was blue. What's the Manager going to be? Red?

If he's actually red, I'm going to flip my fucking lid.

So, umm....yeah, the General stood about as much of a chance against me as the Foreman did (read: none at all). I raced down into the pit, faced off with him, and traded a few words with him—like most standoffs—and then I slammed my body into his and hit him directly in his center mass.....and I caused him to hit a switch to slowly spill a fucking gigantic vat of molten solionite into the central pit, rapidly filling it up like a cereal bowl being filled with milk on a warm morning. The General and his subordinates got incinerated, of course.....but I, with my glorious super speed, managed to outrun the flow in a scene that honestly looked like it was ripped straight from an action movie. Seriously, go read that sequence again in the previous chapter and tell me that doesn't remind you of those typical "outrun the fireball" or "outrun the explosion"-type scenes in media! 'Cause it was EPIC!

Now, the "central pit" is nothing but a lake of molten solionite, with no workers or General to be found.

Honestly, I think it's better like this.

The chapter wrapped up with me dashing away from the site to find Erica.....because it's time to tackle the third and final quadrant of the Solionite Mines.

Now, ahem......CHAAAAAAAARGE!

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Glad you caught up with us so fast, everybody! I, Lightspeed, am still running through the remainder of the Solionite Mines with my best friend, Erica Shields.....and honestly, the two of us have been making great time! I've just been barreling through the baddies like I've always done, while Erica's been engaging more reduced clumps of foes with her blunt instruments; specifically, her crowbar and her sledgehammer.

We're making our way through the third quadrant of the Mines now, and our current objective is to look for the third and final "head" of the Mines, who goes by the Manager, so we can question him as to the Solionite Mines' affiliation with the Celestial Syndicate.....if said affiliation even exists.

Yes. We're going to speak to the Manager. We're literally just full-on Karens at this point; there's no going back now, you guys. Too bad neither Erica nor myself have the appropriate hairstyle; otherwise, this would be even more hilarious.

Before we got here, however, I made sure to bring Erica to the lake of molten solionite that had formerly been the central pit where the General was stationed in. Of course, I didn't tell her exactly what happened; I just told her that the lake of molten solionite was already there and that the General and his minions were such a bunch of dumbasses that they slipped and fatally fell into it without me even needing to do anything.