If you only knew...

15.Away from you

Ana's POV

A few days passed, and our boss congratulated us multiple times. He was kind enough not to send us on another dangerous mission, which was a relief.

Finally, I had some time off to spend with my fiancé and family. I craved the comfort of being home, away from any danger and uncertainty.

"I'm so glad to have you here with me, my love," Marco said, hugging me as we relaxed on his couch. His large living room felt cozy as we shared cuddles and kisses.

"Me too... I missed you, Marco," I replied, but a flicker of doubt crossed my mind.

As he held me tightly, a memory suddenly flooded back. I recalled that quiet night in the woods with Xavier, feeling a deep connection as we embraced.
I couldn't lie I didn't miss him, nor could I forget the way he made me feel with his soft touch and warm presence, the way his fit and lean body just made me feel so turned on only by being next to me.
An immense desire to touch him again right now washed over me.

"Ana, are you here? You seem lost in thought," Marco asked, his voice sounding a bit tense, as if he could sense my mind wasn't fully with him.

"Sorry, I've had a tough few days at work. I'm just trying to adjust to this new life," I said, feeling flustered as I realized my thoughts were not what they should be in this moment.

"You know, I think you need to make some love with your fiance so you can forget about the job matters. I've been craving for my girl for a while now!" Marco looked at me with a big grin splattered on his face, while he stood up and led me to his bedroom.

"Marco, I'm not convinced I'm ready for that just yet," I replied, the words escaping my lips as a gentle deception. Deep down, my mind was swirling with uncertainties, making it hard for me to embrace the idea.

"You'll feel fantastic once we do it, my love!" he insisted, his voice brimming with enthusiasm, a confident grin stretching across his face as he pushed me on the bed, slowly taking my shirt off as his rough face buried between my breasts.
I felt his aroused member thrusting hard inside me as my pussy was soaked wet, but it was not due to his touches; rather, it was the flood of memories that came rushing back to me just moments ago.

I felt so weird doing this with Marco at that moment, like I couldn't be fully present anymore. What was wrong with me?
I felt so out of that place, my mind slowly flying to that one major lust of mine.
As I leaned my hands on Marco, with a hesitant touch, my fingers suddenly dug tighter as my mind imagined someone else.
A short thought of feeling Xavier this way made me so out of control, so wild and desiring.
I wished that I could feel at least for a tiny bit of time his bare body against mine, as a subtle graze of my fingertips would ignite a cascade of goosebumps that would travel over his skin.
The way I desired this man, I've never felt it with anyone else, not even with my fiance...
Wild images went through my mind with indecent things that I would do to him, the way I would explore his perfect slender and toned body as I would steal some soft moans from that seductive mouth.

In a matter of minutes, I reached an incredible orgasm and Marco also. He looked at me with incredible satisfaction, but little did he know that the climax wasn't caused by him at all...

I stood up from the bed, feeling a mix of emotions as I headed to the shower. A wave of guilt washed over me, and I couldn't help but feel frustrated with myself.
Was I to blame for having such thoughts? Was Marco at fault for never making me feel this way?
I was uncertain, but one thing was clear—I couldn't stop thinking about Xavier. The farther away I was from him, the more I realized how much I craved his presence.

I was sure it was just a physical lust, but even that one was strong enough to haunt me and disturb my life.

                      
                       ..............................................

As the sun set, I was on my way to the movies with Marco. Honestly, everything we've done today felt dull and didn't align with what I really wanted. It seemed like he had a plan, and we had to follow it, even though I would have preferred a cozy family dinner or just some time resting in my bed.

"My love, I picked this romantic movie for us—you're going to love it!" he exclaimed, barely noticing my gloomy mood.

"Marco, why don't we just go home and spend some time with my parents instead?" I asked, trying to sound calm but really feeling desperate.

"You rarely spend time with me now. I want you all to myself today, love. Besides, you have so much to share about your work and experiences. How's it going with your new partner?" he said, heading to the cinema line for tickets and ignoring my request.

Hearing him mention my partner stirred up feelings I'd rather not face. I quickly pushed them aside and responded to Marco without showing my inner conflict.

"I told you about my last assignment—it was intense and a bit scary. We barely made it through, but I'm glad we did. My new partner is really great; we get along well!" I replied, my expression blank and distant.

"If he ever makes a move on you, just let me know, okay?" Marco said, a hint of jealousy creeping into his voice.

"Oh no, he's not like that. I don't think he even notices..." I suddenly realized how that sounds.

"Notices what?!" he asked, surprised.

"Oh... I mean... he doesn't see me as anything more than a colleague, just another agent he works with," I stumbled over my words, trying to explain my awkward slip-up.

                    .................................................

We just finished watching the long, overly romantic movie and were finally on our way to Marco's place for the night.
As we reached home, he became busy dealing with some work documents in his home office, so I finally had some time for myself in our bedroom.

I had my phone in my hand, staring at the screen, wishing I could text someone special—but I wasn't thinking about Marco.

It would have been a great idea, but I realized I hadn't even exchanged phone numbers with him yet!
I should really ask for his number as soon as I return to the agency!

My thoughts drifted as I reflected on how much my life had transformed since I joined Black Veil. Everything had been exciting and thrilling, but also a bit scary and dangerous. The rush of adrenaline and the mix of emotions while killing criminals and being undercover were overwhelming, but I loved it. It was everything I needed to break free from my otherwise dull routine.

Back in my previous life, everything was calm, organized, and predictable, like I was following the same boring plan, but at Black Veil, nothing was certain. Every day and every mission brought unexpected surprises, unpredictable things... just like my unpredictable desire for Xavi...

.........................................

It's been three days since I left Black Veil, and this evening, I was finally set to return! I eagerly anticipated this moment, as I missed my life at the agency.

During the last days, I visited my parents and spent some time with Marco at his workplace too, but nothing felt quite like being back at my exciting job.

As the sun began to set, Marco walked me to the gates and said,

"I'm really going to miss you, my princess. I wish you could have stayed longer!"

"I'll be back soon! Or maybe you can come visit me next!" I replied, trying not to sound cheerful and excited about going back to work, even if this was actually how I felt.

"Just promise me you won't let that guy touch you, okay?" he said, a serious note in his voice as I approached the gate.

I crinkled my face in mild disbelief and replied, "Aren't you supposed to just tell me to be careful and stay safe? Or to remain alive?"

"Of course, my love. But I can't help but worry about you being around another man," he explained.

"I understand your concerns, and I love you, Marco. I'll be careful," I assured him, quickening my pace as I entered Black Veil's yard.

I'm back!!