If you only knew...

44.The departure time

Ana's POV

The night is shrouded in darkness, a bone-chilling cold enveloping us as we navigate the pitch-black yard of the agency. The clock edges close to 10 PM, and we make our steps towards the restaurant. We're about to meet Nate, Clara, and Lisa, but my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of Xavier.

A wave of excitement washes over me at the mere sight of him. I can hardly wrap my head around the fact that we're going to be spending an entire month together!

I've missed him terribly, and all I want is to pull him close, to feel the warmth of his body against mine. The idea of wrapping my arms around him, kissing him deeply, and inhaling that intoxicating scent that is uniquely his sends shivers of longing through me. Each day apart feels like an eternity, deepening my addiction to his presence.

Yet, in the midst of this excitement, a shadow of sadness lingers in my mind. I can't shake the image of Marco, broken and waiting at home. His quiet suffering tugs at my heart, blending a bittersweet ache with my joy at the opportunity of being with Xavier. It's a tumultuous mix that stirs within me, a reminder of the complexity of my feelings as I stand on the brink of something beautiful yet fraught with tension.

I'm uncertain about how he'll take the news of my absence for a whole month. My hope is that this time apart will help him adjust and really consider his actions. Maybe, just maybe, he'll come to terms with my true decision by the end of it all.

Just before stepping into the bustling restaurant, where our friends are buzzing with curiosity, I abruptly halt and reach out to grasp his arm. With a gentle yet urgent tone, I lean in and ask,

"Xavier, do you love me? Be honest."

My question clearly takes him by surprise; I can see the shock widening his eyes as tension ripples through his body. He hesitates, grappling with his thoughts, before finally speaking in a low, soft voice that barely pierces the silence between us.

"I... I don't know, Ana," he admits, his words laced with sincerity and uncertainty. "I'm really not sure how I feel about you—whether it's love or something else. The truth is, I've never truly experienced love before, so I don't even know what it feels like..." His tone is calm, yet it carries a hint of shyness that makes the moment all the more poignant.

I wish you would know Xavier, I wish you would be aware of your feelings so I know what I risk for...

Just as I am about to speak, I hear him murmur softly, "But it really hurts me to see you with him. It's this strange sensation I've never experienced with anyone else..." His eyes dart away, shyly fixed on the ground, revealing a vulnerability that melts my heart.

"Oh, Xavier," I breathe, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over me. "I promise I'll make this right—sooner or later. Thank you so much for being this patient with me..." I pull him in for a gentle hug, savoring this moment of connection.

"Did you happen to speak with him, Ana?" His voice cuts through the moment as we hold each other tightly.

"Uh, no. Why do you ask?" I reply, my heart racing at the thought of the chaos Marco put me through last night, desperate to keep it all to myself.

He locks his gaze onto mine, a forced smile tugging at the corners of his lips, yet his eyes betray a profound sadness. With a tender tone, he softly utters,
"Just curious..."

We ultimately release each other from our hug and step into the warm ambiance of the restaurant.

As we explain our friends the mission details and request them to join, Lisa can't hold her excitement as she exclaims,