If you only knew...

56.We're not safe

Xavier's POV

As Ana's phone rings, the screen lights up with Marco's name, and I can't help but wish she'll just let it go, and leave it lying on the nightstand.

But she doesn't hesitate. In an instant, she snatches her phone, urgency etched on her face as if her very life hinges on that call. It hurts a little, but I force myself to muster every ounce of patience and mental fortitude I have, clinging to my promise to wait for her decision until the end of the month.

I can't help but wonder: Am I just a lovesick fool, or am I genuinely stupid? No matter the label, I know there's little I can do now that I've laid my heart on the line—I've given her this chance. All I can do is fight against the tide of my own crumbling feelings and see where this path leads.

She glances at me, her finger pressed to her lips, urging me to silence as she gently responds, "Hey, my love, how are you?"

Those words land like a punch to my gut. The softness in her voice, the way she pours affection into her tone with him—it sends a surge of doubt racing through my mind. Is she really just pretending with him, or could she be wearing the same mask around me? The thought churns in my stomach. Without thinking, I push myself up and scramble to throw on my clothes. I need to escape this room, to flee before she wraps him in more sweet words that could shatter my already fragile state. I can't stand hearing her create a world of intimacy with him right in front of me, so I rush to the door, desperate to salvage what's left of my night before she completely ruins it.

As I rummage through the clutter, desperately searching for the keys to the door that Ana locked earlier, her voice suddenly stops me in my tracks.

"Yes, it's getting pretty late—you really should get some rest. I love you, too! Good night!" she says, her tone dripping with sweetness before she hangs up the phone.

I'm left utterly speechless. For the first time, her words pierce through me, igniting a physical pain that resonates deep within. My breath becomes shallow and erratic as I grapple with the rising tide of anxiety she has unleashed, suffocating in the very air I need. It's as if she has stolen it from my lungs, and I'm left gasping, overwhelmed by the raw emotion swirling within me.

"Are you okay? Where are you going?" Her voice drips with concern as she hastily throws on a night dress and strides over to me.

Words fail me, but the uneven breaths and the pain shimmering in my eyes reveal everything she needs to know. She gently places a reassuring hand on my back, trying to soothe me. "Listen," she continues, urgency in her tone, "I had to use an affectionate voice during that call. I just want to get to my place so I can break up with him face to face. I can't handle his jealous antics right now—not over the phone."

I press my back against the door, feeling the cool surface as I struggle to steady my breaths. My voice, thick with hurt, pierces the silence. "Why are you doing this?" I ask, my words trembling as I continue, "Why do you keep putting me through this again and again, knowing that each time, it deepens my hurt?" I lock eyes with her, the pain unmistakable in my expression. "Why can't you just put me first, even once?"

"Xavier... I don't—"

I can't help but cut her off, desperation surging within me. "Why is it always about protecting him? Why do you shield him from jealousy and hurt and leave me to shoulder it all? That's just not fair, Ana." My voice softens, but the pain lingers, wrapping around my words like a suffocating shroud.

"I..." she hesitates, her fingers gently brushing against my cheek as she murmurs, "I don't want to do this, but you know how things are. I can't let him provoke a fight over the phone—not while we're miles apart and buried in this mission. I just don't have the strength for it right now."