If you only knew...

24.Night drive

Ana's POV

I feel a sudden, agonizing ache in my heart, a visceral reminder of the commitment I made to Marco. This reminder, coupled with Xavier's insistence that I stay true to my vows, leaves me feeling thoroughly confused and scared. Scared not only of the thought of betraying Marco but also of my own conflicting emotions.

I find myself questioning everything. Should I fully dedicate my heart back to Marco? After all, he's the one whose unwavering love has made the last several years of my life a tapestry of joy, he has built his entire world around me, pouring his energy and efforts into making me happy. The thought of losing all those shared memories—both the beautiful moments and the difficult ones—terrifies me beyond measure.

Yet, why can't I shake Xavier from my thoughts?!
It's as if he casts a shadow over Marco's presence, eclipsing everything whenever I see him. Each time he's near me, I feel a pull that I can't quite understand, a magnetic force that makes it nearly impossible to forget him. I grapple with this overwhelming confusion, battling between loyalty and newfound desires, unable to untangle the web of my emotions.

Why can't I simply push Xavier out of my mind? Why does he continue to linger, pulling me in when I know the risk it poses to everything I've built with Marco?
What is it about him that draws me in so completely?

I often wonder why everything I experience with Xavier feels so much more intense and exhilarating than what I shared with Marco. The kiss, every touch, and all the embraces with him feel infinitely more pleasurable as if they open a door to a world of emotions I never knew existed. It's a passion that envelops me, making me question the depth of my feelings.

Is what I have with my fiancé, Marco, truly love, or is it merely a comfort-driven attachment? I grapple with these thoughts, feeling an overwhelming pull towards Xavier that I can't seem to shake off. It's an irresistible force that drags me in, leaving me torn about the prospect of letting it go.

Yet, I hesitate to take any risks. There's a nagging fear that my feelings for Xavier might just be a fleeting physical attraction. Deep down, though, I know I'm lying to myself—what we share is so much more than just lust. Nevertheless, the uncertainty of risking the life I've built with Marco holds me back. Our safe haven, the home we've created together, feels like something I can't easily walk away from.

"You're right. I made a choice, but I can't seem to hold onto it, and it's all because of you." I reply, my voice heavy with regret, the weight of my emotions etched clearly on my face.

"Because of me?" he asks, a hint of disappointment shadowing his face. "Ana, I... I never meant to make any advances."

I chuckle softly, wanting to ease the tension. "Oh no, you've misunderstood me. It's not your actions; it's just your presence that pulls me in."

His expression shifts as he shakes his head. "I wish you'd keep your distance, Ana. Don't get me tangled in this. Let's just stay friends and partners. I don't want to be your temporary entertaiment." His words cut deeper than I expected, but I understand his point.

Silence envelops us as he turns away, ready to leave.

"Where are you going?" I ask, hesitantly, as he glances back at me.

"I need to take care of some things at home for a few days," he responds calmly, his soft voice sending a flutter through my heart. That warmth quickly fades as reality sets in—he'll be gone again, just when I finally got to enjoy his company.

Without thinking, I reach out, gripping his arm gently. "May I come with you?"

His eyes widen in surprise, caught off-guard by my request. He struggles to find the right words.