If you only knew...

36.I can't let go of you

Xavier's POV

As we drive toward the agency, an oppressive silence envelops the car, leaving me to grapple with the events of last night and the echo of Ana's uncertain words. The air feels thick with unspoken thoughts, fueling my anxiety as I replay every moment in my mind.

I would be untruthful if I claimed I didn't enjoy the intimacy we shared. It was truly memorable for me. I was deeply moved by how she responded to my touch; her beauty was captivating and pleasuring.

Her soft fingers tracing every inch of my body felt nothing short of astonishing—more intense and profound than anything I've experienced before. I felt as though I was utterly captivated by her touch, my thoughts swirling in a haze. It was impossible to ground myself or think clearly; I was completely entranced.

With a mix of curiosity and uncertainty, I softly inquire,
"Ana, what do I mean to you?" My heart races as I await her response, unsure of what emotions it might unleash.

"You're like a drug, the one I can't resist—the best kind, really," she replies slowly, her eyes skimming away from mine, as if the truth is too intense to hold.

"That kind of a drug that you're trying to break free from, or the one you want to stay hooked on for good?" I press, searching for a definitive answer from her.

"I'm not quite sure..." she pauses, the frustration evident in her tone. "Why do you keep asking me all these questions? I thought I made it clear that I need some time, Xavier." Her voice rises, betraying the irritation that simmers just beneath the surface, her patience wearing thin with my relentless curiosity.

I fall silent, the weight of her sharp demand pressing down on me. My hands tighten around the steering wheel as I shift my focus to the winding road ahead, deliberately avoiding her gaze. A palpable tension hums in the air between us, and the words I desperately search for are trapped in my throat, creating an unsettling stillness that seems to stretch endlessly.

                            .......................................

Ana's POV

As we approach the agency's gates, a familiar figure comes into view—our boss, patrolling the yard with his signature energy.

"Hey! How did the mission go? Are you both alright?" he questions, radiating enthusiasm.

Before I can even say a word, Xavier silently slips the SD card into his hand. He doesn't even bother to meet our boss's gaze, instead choosing to pass by with a determined attitude, completely ignoring the question hanging in the air. His frustration is palpable as he turns away, not sparing a glance back. It is clear he's angry, and the unspoken message hangs heavy between them.

"What's wrong with him?" our boss inquires, a look of  surprise crossing his face as he processes the unexpected reaction.

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. "Honestly, I don't think I'm the right person to discuss this," I reply with a calm confidence. "What matters is that everything turned out well in the end." With that, I turn on my heel, making my way to my room, eager to escape the weight of the conversation.

As I sink into my bed, a heavy wave of reality crashes over me, each thought an unwelcome reminder of what I did last night. It's as if my own mind is conspiring against me, wrapping around me like a shadow, slowly tightening its grip.

Up until now, I had my doubts about whether what I felt for my work partner truly counted as cheating, but there's no denying it any longer—I crossed that line.

My heart aches for Marco; he's such a good person, and he certainly doesn't deserve that.

Then there's Xavier—his curiosity about my feelings is something I can understand, yet I find myself at a loss for words, unable to provide him with a clear answer when I'm struggling to grasp it myself. It's a tangled web of emotions, and I'm just trying to navigate my way through it all.