75. If you only knew...

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Ana's POV

Sometimes we learn the hard way; someday we'll find silence away from all we've got

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Sometimes we learn the hard way; someday we'll find silence away from all we've got. The lives we play behind the mask—a constant rain of pain...
I don't know if I can anymore, so watch me break; I can see everything being torn away from me...
It was a while ago, when I had you...

You were like a blazing fire, Xavier—your passion ignited a flame in my heart, filling me with hope for a love that seemed boundless. But just as suddenly as you sparked that light, everything fell silent, leaving me in darkness.

As the pages of my life roll by, I will wait for you. I'm so desperate just to see your face, to have you hold me now; I need to feel you. Show me how to make it new again. There's no one I can run to and nothing I could ever do. I'm nowhere if I'm here without you...

Even if you take it all away, I will wait for you. Even when the light begins to fade, I will wait for you. I'm so desperate calling out your name. Meet me in this broken place....

It's Christmas, but it's the saddest one I have ever experienced. My family is gathered at Marco's place, and I can't help but feel like a ghost drifting through this festive scene. Marco has forgiven me for my past betrayal, but his attempts to sweep it all away only leave me feeling more repulsed. It's hard to watch him try so desperately to make me forget someone whose qualities he will never match.

We decided to move forward with the wedding, despite the shadows looming over us. My parents insisted on couple's counseling, convinced that a few sessions with an outsider will somehow work miracles. But deep down, all I feel is a profound, unshakeable disgust for the façade we're both trying to maintain.

Nothing can truly mend the ache in my heart that longs for just one person in this world, a desire that grows stronger with every heartbeat.

"Ana, can we talk privately for a moment?" My mom's voice is gentle, yet laced with concern. She notices my distant gaze and gently rises from the table, motioning for me to follow her into the kitchen. Once inside, she softly asks, "What's going on with you? Do you really want to sabotage your future with Marco by making him feel like an intruder in your life?"

I look down, the weight of her question sinking in. "Mom, I feel like an intruder in my own life too. Why can't any of you see how I truly feel? Why can't anyone understand? It wasn't just an affair... it was so much more."

Her brow furrows, "Then what was it, Ana?"

I let out a shaky breath, the weight of my emotions threatening to spill over. "It was pure love—real love. Something I've never felt with Marco. I only realized it too late, and it's absolutely heart-wrenching..." My voice falters, and tears begin to well in my eyes.

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