In Dreams | Jayhoon

Page 36

"Thank you for looking after us, Jay," Wonyoung spoke, her voice thin due to the harsh dust of wind breezing through. The said boy bowed, displaying a lopsided smile, "It's alright ma'am. I hope you arrive home safe." The girl nodded, hopping inside her car and she soon drove off in the dusk night.

There was shuffle behind Jay. Sunghoon was rummaging through his compartment to find an ointment he saved a while ago just in case-- but for circumstances, he never got to use it. "Hyung, what are you looking for? You should go inside it's cold." Jay asked approaching the older who was hunched in the passenger seat, groaning in frustration. "I-I remember putting it here—where the fuck did it go? I don't think I gave it to someone..." the latter mumbled, "found it." His voice chirped out as he stood straight, panting lightly.

"You were looking for an ointment? Why?" Jay asked, perking his brow. Sunghoon exhaled, reading over the cream in his hands. "It's for your bruise. On your neck," he said, gently dabbing his finger where the bruise was. "Right beside your mole." Jay didn't know if it was the flurry of wind, or the gust of chills that sent a small jolt in his body. Nobody other than Jungwon had ever noticed the mole; it was something that was hidden in plain sight, and nobody ever bothered staring at Jay so intently to even catch on. The latter placed his hand over the mark, cheeks turning red.

"Ah, this..." he muttered, "oh, right." He whispered. Sunghoon stared at him in perplexation, hand still clutching the ointment. "Hyung, it's alright. It's just a bruise, nothing big," Jay protested. "Let's go inside, it's cold here."

Sunghoon groaned in frustration, grabbing Jay's hands and dragging him along. "Hyu—wait!" Jay stumbled upon his words, "you never listen to me, do you?" Sunghoon huffed out, jogging up the staircase despite having to drag the boy and stood by his apartment door, still holding onto the Jay's hand, clutching it tightly. Jay clicked his tongue, persisting. "Hyung, I'll be fine. Go to bed." The latter ignored him, unlocking his door and dragging the boy inside.

Jay sighed, giving in and taking a seat on Sunghoon's couch. The older scurried to his room, rummaging through his drawers to find some q-tips. Jay sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. It had been an eventful night, and he preferred ignoring everything and sleeping everything away. Besides, the bruise wasn't even such a big deal. He feels embarrassed when someone tries to care for him—doing things such as worrying about him, looking after him; he felt like he was burdening the other. So, when Sunghoon displayed affection, the younger felt rather awkward knowing that still—somehow—Sunghoon was his boss. He didn't know if they'd define this relationship as "friendship," since there's definitely this weird tension between the both. It's as if the tension is a thin strand lingering when they connect gazes, or when they find themselves staring at each other—a little too long—and it doesn't feel platonic. Jay was well aware of that, but he pushed the feeling past his head, confusing it for solitude and brushed every hope possible away.

Sunghoon walked out of the room, hoodie sliding past his shoulder due to constant movement. He took a seat beside the older, gently caressing the bruise with his finger. His pretty fingers. Jay gulped, ignoring his heart pacing around his ribcage and darted his eyes to the table beside them. "Ah, you got a small cut on the side of your cheek too..." Sunghoon mumbled to himself, eyes trailed on the cut. He moved his hand to open the ointment, squeezing some out on the q-tip. His eyes fell on Jay's for a second, noticing the younger couldn't meet his eyes and thin—almost smirk curved at the ends of his lips. He gently pressed the substance on his neck, the other slightly wincing at the cold touch. "Does it hurt?" Sunghoon mumbled, eyes flickering over Jay's mouth as it slightly opened. "No, it just feels cold." Sunghoon hummed, tapping the bruise lightly till the cream was evenly spread. "The bruise doesn't even hurt, why bother doing this..." Jay spoke in a hushed tone, keeping his eyes away from Sunghoon's.

"It looks like a hickey," Sunghoon stated and Jay snapped his head towards the older, a scowl on his lips. Sunghoon chuckled, closing the bottle before leaning away to get the ointment for the cut. Jay sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why do you come with these things, hyung?"

The older just shrugged in response, "someone would misunderstand. But I wouldn't mind if they suspected me." Jay stared at in shock, ears dusted red, once again. "Now, look at me this time. I need to apply the cream on your cut," he mumbled, inching closer to the younger again, slipping his hand under his jaw, languidly holding his nape in place. Jay gulped, staring as the older dapped his cheek with his finger, tapping it lightly to make sure it doesn't hurt the other.

The room fell into deep silence as Sunghoon squeezed more ointment, dabbing it on his cheek. Jay could feel Sunghoon's nose slightly brushing past his, eyes focused on the cut. But then, his gaze flicked up, meeting Jay's. Sunghoon could see Jay's eyes widen slightly, his breath quickening. And being this close to the boy, he could feel a slight shift in his demeanor. His eyes darted between his lips and eyes, falling back down to his nose and then trailing back down to his lips.

Jay was panicking. So was Sunghoon. But the latter did something unexpected: he pulled Jay closer by his hand, which was resting on his nape and left a peck on Jay's cheek. Déjà vu, Jay immediately thought, backing away. His hand flew up to his cheek, covering it. Sunghoon stared in shock as well, heart racing in mixture of bewilderment and flustery.

Maybe it was because of the falling silence in the room, or maybe it was because of the distance between the two, but Jay stared, gaped at Sunghoon until he no longer could see his face as he lunged onto him, connecting their lips together. Sunghoon sat there, idly, feeling the soft brush of lips against his. He sat still, heart thundering all over the place; he sat until he could feel Jay's breath mingle within his, grasping it underneath his own; he sat until he could read the lines on Jay's face, count his lashes, feel that distinct smell on cologne slip through him; he sat until he could no longer feel the graze of love over his lips.

Jay pulled away, panting. I made a mistake, he gazed at the older, face bloomed red. Sunghoon didn't utter a word, his mind spinning with the thoughts of his lips against his. His lips against the mole on his neck, lips marked all over his body.

After the deafening silence and ringing hum of the fan, Jay stood up in a flurry of panic. He stumbled, running out the house. Sunghoon lunged up, chasing after him, grabbing a hold on his arm. "Why are you running?" He asked in-between quick breaths, face contorting into disappointment. "Why?"

"Hyung... this isn't right..." Jay tried to break free from his grip, but Sunghoon stopped him from running away. "Hyung..." Jay pleaded, eyes falling on his arm, "you know we can't... you're—it's not supposed to be us. You're supposed to be with Wonyoung."

"I don't like Wonyoung!" Sunghoon argued, brows knitting together in fury. "I stopped liking her long ago. I don't—I don't want to be with her."

Jay wiggled his wrist, finally pulling away from Sunghoon's grasp. "Your father—he wouldn't like any of this. He would hurt you, Sunghoon..." Jay's voice phased as he spoke, eyes drooping down to the floor. Sunghoon faced the younger, still. Jay turned away, running out the door. He felt his skin burning where Sunghoon had grazed it so delicately. He closed his door behind, sliding down on the floor as he held his forehead.

I fucked up. Why did I do something so reckless? What the fuck—what the fuck—how will I ever face him now? How is everything supposed to be the same now? What do I do?

Jay's thoughts plunged inside his head, and he felt like he was going insane. On the other side of the wall, he could hear a knot of shuffle and then the flick of light.

It was just a fleet of passing hope, Jay. Nothingelse.