One In A Million

Chapter 42 Part 1

25/11/2014

- Chicago -

"cold, rainy, windy...." I thought to my mind, as I starred the heavy rain pouring outside, and crushing heavily on the window. From the 12th floor of the building, the view was so nice, you could see the tall skyscrapers, the magnificent Sears tower, buildings, the sea, and everything in the surroundings. Though of that dark mist, the buildings lights were still visible, not clearly, but surely. After all, that weather perfectly reflected my gloomy mood, my obscure sadness. Chicago was a so beautiful city, but tonight, was unable to admire it. How could I not, after the series of incidents which occurred recently, messing up and down my life. They always said that the mental pain was always the most cruel, even more awful that some physical, and that the fucking truth. Yes my whole body was in agony, and a healing process had been enhanced, but my heart, it was broken, dispatched, torn. That pain was the worst ever. Being forced to leave the ones I loved the most, my family, friends, job, all behind me To run away like a fugitive. God Marco, my Marco, his pain was mine, I knew how he was suffering, and drowned into a fluster of agitation. "Marco, I'm so so sorry" I said to myself conscious, trying to calm down my own guilt, cause yes I was so, but it never worked out, the more I was convincing myself that I choose the perfect decision, the more I felt that heavy weight of tension striking my whole body. He must have been scared to death seeing that there were no traces of my presence, any replies coming from me, the thousands like of text messages phone calls. Every of his messages did made me sicker. I felt that devilish cold holding me, and that weight of tension pounding heavier on every parts of my body. Close to convulsions. I had wished that I could answer those damn phone calls, to hear his voice, oh god. I bet that he spent ongoing sleepless nights, buried in a fluster of agitation-concern, thinking out on me. He must have thought about the worst scenarios, I bet he did, to the point of torture. "Where is she, what the hell is going on, is she okay, is she still alive, am I going to be awaken by a phone call from the police announcing that they found her naked lifeless body somewhere in the woods." Fuck... He so not deserved that treatment from me. Marco had been the perfect boyfriend, always treating me right, a man like him was so hard to find, I had always thought that such men existed in princess dreams only and that I never be granted to that chance, but he came into my life, the best gift from the heaven . And how was I being thankful to him, by running away, telling bullshits of lies, ignoring him. Bravo Brooke, you just turned into a heartless monster at your turn. And the worst above, that injury. Yes, I could be blamed for that, because all must had been messed up in his mind, that constant fear of losing me and the ongoing worry must had drained him up, to the point that it caused a severe lack of concentration for the last match, resulting into another serious injury. Yeah, I generated this injury indirectly, a supplementary coat of grief and pain for him, and another immoral act added to my sinful list. I was definitely a fucking monster. Reconsidering every facts, I deserved that constant pain and harsh heart break, yes I did. My pain was too deep cutting, and my guilt too odious that I couldn't cry. Yes too sad to cry. My life didn't have a reason to be lived anymore if Marco couldn't be a part of it.

* *

I still starred at the thick and moist mist which formed outside, but still kept an eye at my phone, as a feeling of bother touched me. That text message sent by Kaylee had set my vigilance to high, I had read it over and over again, an I did have some reasons to get anxious about that. "Baby, I hope all is good on your side. Damn, I miss you unconditionally, either Jules, and everyone here. Marco is going crazy Brooke, to the point of getting sick, and the injury hasn't helped it at all. Marco will go to the police to fill a missing person case on you, it's getting very serious here, and everything is going out of control. Call Marco And tell him the truth, there's still time remaining to save your butt" I read her message with a particular attention, and instantly everything turned dark again, that feeling of burying my body deep in the ground entwined all around me, I was close to another panic attack. I breathed in heavily, making the effort to get my breathing rate back at a normal pace. "Oh god..." I whispered in silent, gasping for air, with my hand on my chest, begging for a miracle to happen and bring my senses back to normal.