One In A Million

Chapter 34

"Brooke's POV"

"What the hell does he want - Why is he back of a sudden - Why is he doing this to me - Why .... This why was existent in every of my self questionings. My life was rolling on so perfectly, I was breathing of joy, feeling alive again, and having the best boyfriend I would ever have. Marco made me smile again. He brought alive all the senses I thought I had lost for good, he brought back to life my dead side, that was to trust again in people, and learned me how to love again. And for that, I'll be thankful to that man. I thought that my past was far being me, a past I had buried so deeply inside of my mind. Sophia has besieged me with a hundredth of questions about Michael, until my head send me signals in the form of migraine that the jar was beyond full. Poor Sophia, I felt so ashamed to lie to her. She was so concerned about me, my situation, and had wished me the best of the life. Also, she was extremely protective on my relation with Marco. She had been clear to him, one misconduct from Marco, and he signed his death certificate already. If the threat came from a die hard fangirl, annoying Marco, the girl was dead either. But from all above what was aching my heart the must, was that Role I had to play again, in front of Marco. Hiding my sorrows behind my fake smiles and dummy satisfaction. I was not myself with him, I was someone else, a girl playing a role, I couldn't be the real Brooke, being too scared yet, or was the authentic me dissipated, did I.? I've been lying to Marco every time he has asked if I was bothered, or moody, and the answer I've spoke constantly was the worst excuse ever that I was too tired but should get fit on the next day after a good night of sleep in his arms. If only that could be the truth. That part of me was set on fire feeling the urge to reveal the truth about me, the life I've been living up, Michael, because if Marco came to knew about the trashy life I've lived, he would leave me in the second. He would probably be so sickened and full of disgust, for me that he'd chase me out of his sight in that moment of rage . Maybe that it was better to keep it quiet, and swallow my inner terror. My preoccupation was Marco, I had to preserve him from any menace, and preserve what we had, our relation and strong love , he wasn't allowed to suffer, not him."

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07/11/2014

As the International Break was coming on next week, we had all to have our last "friendly" dinner on that night. Marco had told me that him and his team mates, best friends always organized a little party or dinner every time the International Break was coming, "The Friendly Reunion" as he named it. My boy was so excited to get there. I wished I experienced the same excitement, the idea of seeing his friends, to share some jokes, laughs, yes, in normal time, I would feel the thrill, but not here. If there was a way escape or to skip that dinner, I'd probably take it. But I promised them I'll be present, so I had to keep my word. My fear was consuming me from the inside, swallowing all of my feelings, I was like a zombie, a robot, my soul was like dead. I knew Marco and I would spend our last night together, and he'll be back in the next two weeks. It was so hard to describe how I felt about his upcoming absence, I was sad but without being that thoroughly very much. All of my mind was enveloped by like a thick mist, not allowing me to resent the emotions I wanted, I was like living in a nightmare. My past hitting my present.

* * *

Sophia who was sitting by my side was so absorbed by the present moment, sharing a diner with some famous footballers of Dortmund was so uncommon, she felt herself as a VIP, being in the presence of celebrities. She made a large amount of selfies with each of them, posted two or three straight to her Instagram, found two new lovely friends Ömer and Curtis, Lisa had invited her for a shopping razia on the next day, she was the little princess of the night. Among Marco's friends present were Auba aka Swaggy who brought his two years old son Curtis, Lisa/Roman, Nuri, his wife Tugba and Ömer, Ilkay who came alone, Mats and Cathy who seemed to be in cold, and Marcel/Jenni. I had put the idea in my head that I should have a funny time with those wonderful people, and put all my fears off side, but it seemed that the negativity had other plans for me. I didn't talk that much either, just exchanged a few words with Lisa, and mostly smiled at the conversations that were going on, as if my tongue was too heavy to spoke a words, I was petrified. "Gosh, if only I could run and hide under a blanket, I would." I said to myself, in between I never hoped that ardently when this dinner would come to it's end.