One In A Million

Chapter 42 Part 2

26/11/2014

- Chicago 20:45 PM -

Lorna and I stayed alone, spending a girly night. We had pizza her dad prepared for diner. Despite of its yummy appearance, I didn't feel the hurry to feed as my appetite severely diminished over the past days. So, I just ate two bites of a slice and swallowed my medicine so my stomach wouldn't be that empty. I felt that I had lost weight as well, my jeans weren't fitting tight to my waist anymore. Sooner or later only skin would remAin, as it happened once already. Once agAIN, I self questioned why I got it back, why this same nightmare was striking me, hurting my whole, and what I've done to deserve that.

Lorna's eyes were so fixed at the LED TV screen, so focused on the Barbie movie dvd she had choose to watch, and begged me to watch it with her. Barbie was kinda of cool to watch even being an adult, so I agreed. But never I was fit enough to focused on this pretty movie, my mind working to find what would I say to Marco. What was about to do was so unpleasant that it brought this feeling of repulsion back, this time, I was hating myself with a harsh violence that it made me sick.

"OMG auntie Brooke, I love Mariposa, I want her Barbie, please please..." Lorna said squeezing gently my arm, speaking with an absolute childish begging voice, and omg, how cute was her behavior. How could I say no to her request.

"We'll see if you gonna behave with good manners, be a good girl, and have good marks at school." I smiled as I looked at Lorna, that one leaning to my cheek and pecked a kiss on it.

"Thanks auntie, you so cool." She said as her attention immediately get back at the Mariposa movie. My eyes remained at admiring her a few more instants, children were so amazing, so innocents, kind and pure. Somehow, I had wished I would remain so forever. Anyway, that childish side was still present, and a huge part of me, and never I would let it go. The new skype message alert coming from the laptop break off my short moment of escape from the world of dreams. Kaylee was extremely fast at replying messages, whatever it was on her phone or a computer, she got fast fingers.

"That's not a solution, not even a temporary one, Brooke... , I'm convinced that there MUST be another way to deal." @ChanelxBb.

"I had thought about An alternative one over last night, all night long, and always the same came back, I don"t hAve A choice - @miss_nfs86" I typed in a slow motion, gawd my fingers were so lazy and painful in a sudden. Was that a sort of sign that what would come next had to be strictly forbidden. "Any vision or signs About that Kay, can a mirAcle like to happen now - @miss_nfs86"

"It don't come on order, though I wish it could be like that. Fot fuck sake, this is going to destroy him, Marco is already overwrought - @ChanelxBb." All along my sleepless night, I had shared with her of my plAn, and she strictly disapproved.

"I'm perfectly conscious, you don't have to remind me of this again, it's so fucking hard for me kay, so fucking hard... I want to die, my life has no more meaning without Him.!!!! @miss_nfs86"

"I know sugar... But omg.... I'm so out of idea RN, I'll tell you to not do that, because it's all I can do sadly @ChanelxBb"

"You'll look after Marco for me, and You'll stay connected while I'm going to write him, turn on your video chat, because doing this alone will be too hard @miss_nfs86"

"Sure... @ChanelxBb" I seized my iphone with all shaky hands, and that painful weight back on my chest. My level of anxiety never had been that high, never. I was a real, monster for doing that... to him. "There still time remaining to turn back Brooke." Kaylee spoke through the camera, but of course, my objective was just too emotionally demanding that I felt drained instantly, and didn't had like enough of energy to stare at the camera. Or was it simply the culpability showing off, a deep cutting culpability then. I searched for Marco's text messages in the inbox folder, and pressed a few more buttons on the screen...