One In A Million

Chapter 12

14/08/2014

"Brooke's POV"

I can't define what I'm feeling at the moment.  I can't say if it's more of anger or disgust, or sadness, or something else.  Actually in my mind it was such a mess, yes a fucking mess.  I have tried to forget these images of Marco and the blond girl, her being sitting on the top of him, almost straddling him, ready to have sex.  Those images were so stuck, so deeply stuck.  What does that mean?  I feel so betrayed by Marco, because i had put my trust and faith into him, yes I did.  But maybe that my feeling of dissapointment was my fault, maybe that I.shouldn't have believe in his flowery words.  I am the only one to blame for this.  I've been so blinded by my feelings inevitably growing for him, and now's the result, I'm being a big fool, like I've always been.  How could I let this again happen to me, how, letting myself blinded and drowned by Marco, how.  When I returned home, Kaylee and didn’t sleep, or just fell asleep for some minutes and woke up again, I was too shocked to fall asleep.  Every time I was closing my eyes, flashes came back, this girl, and Marco’s face.  I didn’t know what his face expression meant, if he was actually shocked of the situation, of what Lauren was doing to me, or shocked that I caught him in such unpleasant position, that I shouldn’t have been there.  I just looked at his face instantly, but it was enough for me, seeing them, was hurting the hell out of me.  I’ve been dreaming so much, yes I did.  Dreaming of a relation with a rich and famous footballer.  The hell no.  Me Brooke, the so simple and infamous girl.  No, footballers don’t date girls like me, they cannot show themselves with poor girls otherwise their public gonna be trashed.  I’ve been so stupid to believe in my own princess dreams.  And the worst, was that Marco had called me several times and texted me, saying to grab my phone, that he really had to talk to me of what happened.  Of course I didn’t gave him that facility, I really didn’t want to hear from his voice, whatever it was, explanations or telling me that everything was a mistake, no, I didn’t had the strength to.  After his eighth phone call, I preferred to switch off my phone and keep on talking to Kaylee.  Even herself was so surprised and shocked when I explained to her what I saw.  She couldn’t understand what Marco was trying to do, was he playing with me and this other girl.  She also felt bad blaming herself for having convinced me that I should go further with Marco, but I told her that nothing was of her fault, and I took this decision by my own.  I also felt betrayed by Lisa.  She acted her role so well, pretending and telling me that Marco was such a wonderful gentleman, and that he fucking like me.  All that cacme out of her mouth were lies on lies.  Why she hasn’t told me that Marco already had a girlfriend, was it so hard.  When I was in Ibiza I wasn’t looking for a boy.  With all of these lies, Marco, Lauren, Lisa, and everything, I really had a taste of what this football and luxurious world was, it was just all so fake, and I absolutely I absolutely didn’t want to be part of it.”

14/08/2014 – Starbucks Café

While I was at work, Julia texted me saying that she was finishing her work at noon, and that we could have our girly coffee break at our Starbucks at 12:45 pm as usual.  Of course, I immediately accepted it, because I was in a high need of some hot coffee or cappuccino.  I was so lazy today at work, not being able to focus correctly on my duties, my mind being elsewhere, still thinking on Marco.  Hopefully I had Kaylee who kept her promise that she would come with me at the shop and help me, and I must admit that she did a great job.  Thank you god that she was there today.

The Starbucks was so full today.  People taking their work break here was such a common thing.  Plus, it was so cozy and comfortable, with the music playing, the free Wifi, and some video clips playing on the large TV screens that were foxed on the walls.  Many people were working on their laptops or IPad, while drinking a Starbucks drink.  I always felt so relaxed each time that I came here, that was alone or with my friends.  But today it wasn’t the case, my body, arms and legs were so heavy, my mood being so emotional, and this rainy weather wasn’t arranging things.   In normal time, I loved a dra and grey sky, heavy rain, being all cozy in my bed or sofa at watching some TV programs, or simply being surfing on the net with my laptop while drinking a hot tea or chocolate.  But no, today, nothing was giving me the thrills of these little moments, I was at the edge of the tears each time that I was looking outside and these big rain droplets on the window.