I'd Excuse Murder | Santana Lopez

63

A/N: Who's here?

I'm a little excited about season three. We're going to take a small break so I can edit a chunk and then I'll come back with some chapters.

A quick little tiny reminder:

My debut novel Hearts and Stars comes out November 11th, 2024. It will include a sneak peek of book two (Early 2025) in the back as well!

If you read the fanfiction version before Wattpad yanked it, I can promise you it's very different and violently edited. 

And now on with the story!

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"Santana?"

Santana raised her head out of her hands and swallowed when she found Valerie standing a few feet away from her. She had tried hiding in the business hall on their floor, but obviously that didn't work.

She slowly stood up to face Valerie and shook her head.

"I can't be with you if you're having his kid." She blurted out before Valerie had the chance to speak. "I just . . . I can't do this again."

"Again?" Valerie's nervous eyes faded and filled with frustration. "What do you mean again? When have I ever burdened you with my son?"

"That is not what I meant." Santana scoffed. "I-I can't watch you be with someone else for the hope the kid grows up happy. You continue to not let yourself be happy and you're gonna have this kid for Sam's sake!"

"Sam is an insecure sixteen year old sophomore, Santana." Valerie stepped up to the girl with fire in her eyes. "Just like I was when I had Jax. He is terrified. His family has no home. He has two jobs because he wants to make sure his siblings grow up happy."

Santana stumbled back a step when Valerie jabbed a finger into her chest.

"My little boy is the biggest mistake of my life." She spat. "He is the biggest mistake of my life and I love him. I love him and you will not make him feel like a burden just because you're mad this club makes all this drama about me not feeling well."

"I love Jax. I didn't mean it like that. I get bitchy when I'm scared."

"I know you do, but you need to filter your fucking mouth because he is a little boy. A little boy that never needs to know he was an accident. A child that will never feel like I had as a kid, do you hear me?"

Santana's vision blurred with tears.

"I'm sorry." Her bottom lip fumbled. "Val, I just don't know what to think. We were so close. We were so close to being happy."

"Stop being a dick every time you think you're going to lose something." Valerie slid her arms around Santana's neck and pulled her into a hug. She sighed when Santana gripped her tightly, gently swaying as she cradled her head. "You're kind of stuck with me. I'm the ghoul that's going to haunt you for the rest of your life, whether we're together or not."

Santana choked out a small whimper and hid her face in Valerie's neck.

"Baby . . ."

Santana looked up as Valerie cupped her face. She whined as Valerie gently kissed her lips, then rested their heads together.

"The only kid I want next is Rocky." Valerie rubbed her cheeks. "The only person I want is you. The only growing pains I want in my stomach better be because you're fucking me hard enough that I feel it in my guts."

"You're not pregnant?"

"I am." Valerie swallowed as Santana's eyes flashed with fear. "But I'm not going to do this to Sam. I saw what it did to Mike and I, and if I could go back, I'd give up Jax so he could have a better life than with me."

"You don't have to—" Santana shook her head. "I'm stupid. You don't have to give up the baby because of me."

"I'm not." Valerie chuckled, eyes watering. "I don't do too much for myself. This is for me and my boy."

"Are you sure?" Santana searched for any sign of regret in Valerie's eyes. "You don't have to—"

"I love you." Valerie interrupted. "You know, I've never really felt like I mattered in the glee club until today. Seeing everyone ban together for me was a little cute. Seeing you . . . Knowing you cared made me feel more than I expected. I want more of that. I want to feel loved by you. I want to have friends that don't tear me down. I want a future."

Santana brushed their noses together before kissing Valerie gently. She rubbed the girl's freckled jaw, pressing her lips to her cheek and hugging her tightly.

"So, you want to be a doctor?" She cradled Valerie's head. "I could get down with that."

"Scrubs could be sexy." Valerie nodded in agreement.

"They can be really sexy." Santana nodded. "Doctor Fab—"

"Jude." Valerie bit her lip. "I want to change my name over the summer. Jax's too. If that's okay?"

"Okay?" Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't ever ask me if something's okay again. I'm a bitch. I don't deserve an opinion."

Valerie hugged Santana's neck and stuffed her face into the girl's neck. She took careful breaths, feeling Santana running her fingers through her hair.

"JJ?"

"Rocky?"

"Have you cried yet?" Santana asked.

"Cried?"

Santana pressed her lips to Valerie's head and curled her waist with her arm.

"You're pregnant." She reminded the girl. "You decided to get an abortion awfully fast. You need to grieve."

"I know." Valerie swallowed and refused to open her eyes. "But I don't wanna right now. Can you . . . Can you do that thing where you tell me I'm pretty and kiss me everywhere after? Remind me to cry in a month or two if I don't."

"I can do whatever you want, Erie." Santana's stomach pitted with worry. "Do you want help getting ready? We don't have much time before final practice."

"Yeah." Valerie nodded and stepped back. "Um, can you do my hair? I'm shaking a lot."

Santana ran her fingers through Valerie's ginger locks and smiled when her hazel eyes found hers. She silently nodded and let Valerie laced their pinkies together, pulling her along.

She wished she couldn't see how broken Valerie looked about this. She shouldn't have said anything. Then maybe Valerie wouldn't have made such a quick choice.

As they walked down the hallway, their hands separated. She wanted nothing more than to shove Valerie into one of these rooms and cure her of every ounce of heartbreak within her.

"I love you, Valerie Jude." Santana walked down the hall three steps behind Valerie. Her pinkie itched to grab hers again.

Valerie looked over her shoulder and smiled.

"I love you too, Santana Lopez."

XXXX

And now we're headed into season three!

What's in store for our two she-devils?