"you say no one knows you so well, but every time you touch me, i just wonder how he felt" why did fineas send me this? i've never cried so much in my life. the song is obviously about me, and i feel terrible. i know i fucked up but jesus. i tore my headphones off, but it was so loud that sitll hear it.
"i know you didn't mean to hurt me, so i kept it to myself.."
nessa : what is this?
finneas : her song
nessa : why? so you could ruin my day?
nessa : i hurt your sister, i know i did and im so sorry
nessa : but she's still mine
"you good?" danny asked, coming out of my room in his boxers. we didn't do anything, he just got drunk and crashed here. "im fine. god dammit, not im not." i said, plopping down on the couch. if i ask billie how she really feels, she wont fucking tell me. we had a little argument about the attitude she gets when i ask her questions.
nessa : no ma'am i have no spoken to billie
maggie : did something happen?
nessa : nothing serious :)
maggie : well im going to be in new york tomorrow so we can talk about it then
maggie's kinda nosey, but i'd trade anything to have a mother that cares like her. i talk to her mom a lot, she's really sweet and understanding. she knows everything, finneas doesn't give a fuck to hear it.
nessa : yay you know you can always just drop by
billie : im sorry babe
billie : im on my period
nessa : i assumed, baby it's ok <33
nessa : your mom wants to come by tomorrow and have lunch. ill ask her about thanksgiving.
billie : awesome
billie : hope she isn't bothering you
nessa : not at all baby
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"does it hurt to walk?"
i nodded, "a lot. i just need to rest for a moment, okay?" i asked, holding the ice on my ankle. the show is ruined, i cant give them a good show if i tried. i feel so alone when im touring, i'd give anything to be home, or with nessa.
danny came up to me and gently started to remove the mic pack, "you good?" he asked, "im fine. was it really bad?" i asked, looking up at him. he shrugged, "bad? nah, you fell gracefully. the crowds waiting for you, you hear them?" i smiled, i did hear them. that's the only motivation i have.
"should i finish sitting down? i have to finish." i said, taking his hand. he helped me up, asking me which chair would be comfortable enough to finish the show in, but my manager declaired that a stool would have to do. danny didn't like the idea, he declaired to disagree, and then got a stern talking to from my manager.
"daniel, you're a sound engineer, you hear me? that's it. i dont need you talking to my talent, she doesn't need your conversation."
"im talkin to her through the fucking headset the entire time, what do you mean?"
"you know what i mean! get her a new fucking mic and turn the pitch down. jesus." my manager stormed out of my green room and danny walked out after him, "im gonna kill him, billie."
"dont say that. we can get through this."
i had just met danny a few days ago. when my usual sound manager, lora, can't make it, they scramble to find me a new one. we ended up with a 20 year old danny who's still in school, but he's good at what he does. he's quite attractive, but that's all i really know about him.
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nessa : how's your first time in england?
danny : jet lag jet lag jet lag
nessa : what are you doing there anyway?
i got a huge job oppurtunity to help on billie's tour. my job hooked me up with it, my mom was proud and ive never been out the country. trust me, i dont purpously have a vendeta, if things happen, they happen. i never noticed how attractive billie is until no.
