THROUGH THE WINDOW

Chapter 5

Finally. I locked the main door of the library. I checked my watch and it was 7.30 p.m. After Grace vanished from sight, a lot of people appeared . I had to help some seniors to find the classic books like Emma, Pride and Prejudice, etc. and also help the kids to find the children books but most people were using the computers. Although I worked, I couldn't help but wonder how I heard Grace's voice in my mind. How did she do that? What is she? Who is she? It seemed that those questions would never be answered any time soon.

By the time I finished checking out the last of the people who were borrowing books, the sun had already set and it was dark. I had to pile the books together to arrange them tomorrow, ensure the computers were shut down and the windows and doors of the library were locked. I wondered where Bridgette, my co-partner was. She barely missed coming to work but today seemed an exception. It felt that today it was planned that I had to experience a lot of awkwardness.

The library was close to my house so I could walk but I still had to be very cautious in case the lizard monster decided to finally catch me. When I almost reached home, I noticed a taxi outside the house. Was my mom having a guest or..?

As I entered home using the spare key I had, I heard voices in the next room. Could it be? I silently walked towards the kitchen and I shrieked as I rushed to hug my dad. He was leaning at the kitchen counter so he didn't fall from the impact my hug gave. He hugged me back afterwards .

" You are finally home."

" Yes honey. I'm so sorry for missing your birthday."

" It doesn't matter anymore. You are finally home."

"Yeah! About that..."

I slowly released myself from the hug as I felt apprehensive. My dad rubbed his neck . He normally did that when he was nervous.

" I'm leaving in a few minutes."

" Where? Why? Huh?"

" I'm going to New York for a few weeks for some presentations I'm giving. So I might not make for this year's art competition."

" But...but it's not fair! What about me?"

" Your mother will be here and also Trevor so there are no worries."

How clueless is my dad? He had promised on the phone, four months ago, that he would attend this year's competition to support me because I finally had the guts to apply this time. It was also supposed to be our bonding moment as father and daughter. I wanted to shout at him. To tell him how he had been making me feel neglected but I was tongue-tied. I turned and left the kitchen, ignoring my dad's calls to come back. I rushed towards my room and locked the door. I was breathing heavily almost sobbing but I held it back. Later I heard a door close and a car going. It seemed my dad had already left. Afterwards I heard footsteps then a knock on the door. I ignored it hoping she would get the message that I didn't want to be disturbed. After a few knocks and calling my name, my mom left. That's when I crawled onto my bed, holding my journal and cried, letting all my anger and anguish out through tears. Luckily Trevor was having a sleepover at his best friend's, Nathan's place or else tomorrow I would have had to convince him that nothing was wrong . He is quite sensitive but only plays tough around people and also quite observant in many situations. I didn't want him to see that I am not as tough as I want him to think . I almost raised him myself before my dad remarried when I was thirteen.

Although it seems nowadays my dad acts like an insensitive jerk, he never used to be like that. I think this attitude he has started when we found Trevor but by that time I hadn't noticed and progressed into this.

Flashback

My dad and I were coming from one my dad's friend's dinner party. I was ten by that time and we didn't have a car. It was pretty late and my dad refused a car ride from one of his friends and so we used a shortcut through an abandoned warehouse to go home. As we passed through it, I heard a shrieking sound. I tightly held my father's arm. It seemed he hadn't heard it yet when he looked at me, puzzled at my sudden action.

The shrieking sound started again but this time it didn't stop. This time my dad heard it and went towards it. I was scared but followed my dad. Better to be with him than being stranded alone in the dark. We found the source of the sound and it came from a trash bin in the warehouse. The warehouse was eerily dark, with the moonlight reflected from the broken window panes. My dad had switched on a torch that he normally carried with him but it didn't help with the darkness.

He opened the bin and gave me the torch as he removed something from it. He raised the creature he took above his head and I moved the torchlight to shine on its face.

"What is it dad?"

" It is a baby."

The baby was covered in muck and it didn't stop wailing.

"Fay, give me your sweater and hurry."

I reluctantly removed my sweater and gave my dad who used it to wipe some of the muck away from its face then used to cover it up. My dad looked serious and so I didn't want to get a lashing if I disobeyed him. He carried the baby and we hurriedly left the house and soon enough we were home. I separated from him to go to my room to get a jacket. When I went to the kitchen to get something to drink, I found him feeding the already clean baby.

" Can you take him for a moment as I go to the bathroom?"

He gave me the baby and left before I answered. When I looked at the baby, I was in love. The baby looked at me in awe through his smoke-grey eyes . As he blinked, brown lashes covered his creamy skin. It seemed that we had a connection. My dad startled me as he came back. I convinced my dad to adopt him which took a while but after a about six months, I finally had a brother named Trevor.

For a while my dad was okay in taking care of Trevor but soon enough he started forgetting to do simple stuff for him like changing his diaper or feeding him. His excuse was work and I found myself taking care of Trevor by myself when I was home. The closest neighbor, Miss Pockett, took care of him during the time I was in school. One year passed and during Christmas, he invited Veronica Prestly home and announced that they were engaged. I was shocked and angry. Why didn't he tell me about his relationship? I felt that I wasn't ready for a stranger to be in our lives. I tried hating her but as time passed, I found out that she was a nice woman. She had short red hair and green eyes and skin the color of a latte.

When they got married that's when my dad disappeared for long periods of time until soon enough I felt like he had become extinct.

When I finally managed to calm down, I wrote everything down in my journal but I still wondered where my first journal disappeared to. And also decided to quit the art competition because I felt there was no point if my dad wouldn't be there.