Suicidal

Chapter 1: - Jar of Secrets

CHAPTER ONE;

JAR OF SECRETS -

       I was sitting on my rooftop, of my house. It was rather vertical, and whilst the rain was firing down, I realised how my clothes added to the nostalgia I felt. My grey hoodie was a nice fit – but not when wet. And my ripped black jeans made me feel somewhat vintage. And it made me think, that I believe that society glorifies love and heartbreak, and let's be honest, we all love a good tragic Cinderella story. But the ones who have broken my heart are not the boys who come and go, it's the girls that I considered my closest friends hurt me the most.  Heartbreak doesn't have to be between lovers, sometimes the worst pain is from a friend who hurts you in a more deeper way than puppy love ever would.

I'm Lara Mendes, and I've always known that I couldn't assume anything.  I couldn't assume that I would grow happy and live a carefree life. I couldn't assume that everyone I loved would stay by my side. I had to keep in mind that friends were temporary and that one day, they could leave me in the dust. I had prepared myself for that day, but when the texts became less frequent, and the conversations became shorter, I hadn't expected it to hurt so much when the realisation struck me.

Sometimes I've felt suicidal......

And from this story.....

                                           you may begin to judge me; in a bad and uncompromising way. But be aware, I am about to tell you a story, a story in which it will often at times make you feel uncomfortably sick, and where you will experience a nauseous feeling inside of your gut.

          Trust me, I've had life threatening situations in my life, in which I almost allowed these situations to kill me, to overpower me and crumble all over my body. To rott and destroy my human existence......

                                                        These situations always made me feel slightly less human - only in the slightest. Though I never have fully recovered from the depths of life - threatening situations, nether the less do I ever recover from a common cold.

                                          And those situations have shaped me, made my mind shape into a different specimen along in our so called "society".

                  Now, that's approaching the subject of society and it's gallery of problems. These problems affect everyone though, from ranging to "How to fit in Society" and "Keeping up with the trend."

                    How I see, is that you're all sheep. You all follow the herd to try and fit in with the others, and not become rejected and transform into the black sheep of the family.

I try my best to diverge from normality. Believe me, it ain't easy. Everywhere I go, people from different sizes criticize me from subjects ranging of "Ew look at her skirt", or even "That eyeliner is terrible on her, she's such a slut!"

Let me come across this in a simple way - it's bullshit. To clarify, a slut is some sort of promiscuous being who sleeps around. Not someone who, wears too much eyeliner or mascara, or dedicates their free time applying make up to make themselves look orange, as if they're "Umpa Loopers".

That's their decision

I've had enough of a rant today, as I normally do, confining in my personal jar of secrets. The time you've come to read this has delighted me, and I wish to continue.

Now, let me tell you a story of tragedy and love.......

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hey!

thanks for picking up this book! I appreciate the fact that this introductory chapter is short, but the first few ones will be, just to set the setting of the book.

Warning: This book is not for the light hearted.

So, I PROMISE YOU, this book will get better!

Trust me!

Seeya when I can!

Stay classy!