Suicidal

Chapter 19: - The story of Tom Brown

CHAPTER NINETEEN;

THE STORY OF TOM BROWN -

I was feeling eerie, after my mundane encounter with Tom Brown at the youth centre. I'd never expected to find anyone like him there, he was just a ghost - an uncomfortable and uncontrollable ghost.

My three years of being his girlfriend, had taught me well. I learnt to never trust anyone who perks up to you all of a sudden, and I also found myself becoming a wallflower, surrounded by daisies. But the thing which amazed me until this very day, was not that Tom never cheated or judged, it was that I was the unfaithful and bad person in our relationship. I'd kissed someone else, at another party. But did Tom? No.

I instantly regretted the slap.

Although, on my way to school a few mornings later, I felt.....happy. Happy that, because of the youth centre and my denial of cigarettes, I met Quincy. Perhaps I was holding onto the very hope, at that moment, of relating to someone else for my mistakes; instead of Lucas.

I knew, and it pained me to think about it, that Lucas wouldn't hang around forever. I had that feeling......that gut instinct, that one day would come, where me and Lucas would eventually part ways. Whether it be our nauseous last day at school, or the day I finally move, I knew, that deep down inside of my heart, that I could no longer cling onto him, as if he was my last hope, my salvation.

Lucas Grimshaw wasn't my daisy flower, or even my wallflower. He wasn't anything special, or anything out - of - the - ordinary, he was just a boy. A normal, simple, charming and loving teenage boy.

And perhaps I needed that in life.

Whilst I was walking to school, that very bleak morning, I noticed Diana turn in on the right, from Glasshouse street. It was an odd occurrence, and fortunately, I didn't plan on avoiding her.

Our relationship was improving, but I won't lie, it still had its cracks. Perhaps all it needed, was some succour time, a time of healing and mending those very deep cracks inside of us. Then, I started to compare my relationship with Lucas to her - they were both so similar. Before the meltdown happened, me and Diana were extremely close, we were like two continents on an elastic band, we couldn't avoid each other, because each and every day, we'd end up smacking each one and another.

I needed to rub all the negative thoughts of Lucas out of my system though, I could tell that my doubts weren't doing me any good, and while I'd only just recovered from Grandma's passing, I needed a fresh start.

I stopped at my aposiopesis, and turned to acknowledge Diana at my side.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked politely.

She shrugged. "I dunno, I've got a biology mock today, and I don't think I've revised enough for it. Since ya know, biology is all mainly studying.....and physics is basically applying......and chemistry is---

"It's okay, I get it Diana. Chemistry is the worst one, and the most futile one. But in all honesty, biology is an easy win, all you have to do is write loads, and then you've got more of a chance of passing."

We increased our speed slightly, as we nudged pass another civilian. "Thanks...I mean, I guess so right? How hard can biology be in the first place?" She rhetorically asked.