Suicidal

Chapter 25: - Turning Tables

(Play the song now for added effect)

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CHAPTER TWENTY - FIVE;

TURNING TABLES -

I wish I could forget his blue eyes. I wish I could forget his laugh and how he made me smile. But I also wish I could forget how he left me, but I couldn't.....and I still can't now.

A few days  after Tomas threatened to spill Lucas's dark secret out to the rest of the school, I found myself carrying one of my most prised possessions: my camera. It was incredibly  vintage, and to say that it didn't work well was an understatement. Why was I carrying a camera? Well, in all honesty, I'm not quite so sure myself, I think I was hoping to take some pictures of Tom being devious or taking pictures of him graffitiing by the back of school. It was all really just hope at the time.

I'd spent days, carrying my camera around with me, hoping to find something to blackmail Tomas with. But, the harsh reality was that I didn't find anything to blackmail him with. And I couldn't rely on my crappy smartphone, the  storage was clogging up already, and I couldn't exactly use a blurry and crap picture against him.  I was so surprised because his dirty mouth didn't release any secrets, which of course, gave me more time than I needed.

I took a stroll down near the east side of the main building, passing by eager students, carrying their stacks and piles of folders. They reminded me of Lucas in a way, and how he too, worried about exams and stressed over the little things in life. And I started to believe, that it was all really a dream, that it never happened. That he never told me how he loved me, and that I said it back. I was starting to believe it was okay, because it was better than accepting that he didn't love me, and he never did.

I made my way to the bench, the brown mahogany bench, where it always reminded me of him. It'd been more peaceful, more bliss, when I was alone. Placing my camera on the bench, I sat down and looked ahead. Although that time, Quincy wasn't with his friends, he wasn't jamming to their varied music or joining in with their abundant smiles.

Instead, he was right beside me.

"Hey Lara." He approached, with a gigantic smile drawn on his face. I hadn't seen him coming to me, so I was very surprised to see him standing over the bench.

"D-don't you....hate me? Why are you talking to me Quincy? I...I thought you were avoiding me."

He scratched his red wrist, and breathed heavily, as if he knew this moment was coming.

"No...Uhhh...it's complicated, that's all."

"Complicated?" I asked, I was bewildered.

"Complicated because, the headteacher ordered me to stay....stay away from you. Well., ordered every boy to stay away from you really. I think she heard about the whole situation with....." He gulped, struggling to name Lucas. "And she....she didn't want you to get hurt again - that's all."

Was she looking out for me, or was she simply doing it for pity? I laughed, because it takes a blind fool to not know that it ain't always the boys who carve deep holes in our hearts. It can sometimes be the girls who do the most damage.

"Then why are you here? Talking to me? Directly going against her rules?"

"Because I hate this, this tension, this terrible distance that's formed between us. I need someone to talk to, to talk about....that night. Someone who was actually there...."

I was relieved, relieved on discovering that I had more than one friend at the time. "Come sit down then, let's talk." Budging up, I slid across the bench and made space for Quincy. He wasn't fat, in fact, he was very skinny and lanky, so I didn't need to move too far away from him, neither did I want to.