Suicidal

Chapter 13: - A place where I feel at home

CHAPTER THIRTEEN;

A PLACE WHERE I FEEL AT HOME -

(Play the song when it says for added effect)

A thousand years ~ Christina Perri

The rain poured down on London so hard that it seemed that it was dancing spray, every raindrop contending with its fellows for supremacy in the air and waiting to splash down.

It was 5 a.m., when I woke up. I wasn't sure, or more appropriately, I didn't even have the foggiest idea to why I was awake this time; perhaps it was because of the rain, or perhaps it was because of the overpowering noise that was scratching at my windows. Either way, I wished it would stop, so I could resume my most - needed sleep.

Once it was half - past six, I decided it'd be best to get out of bed. My hair needed to be washed, plaited and brushed. Unfortunately though, doing your hair was not a simple, nor easy task.

I silently crept my way to the bathroom, like an unknown burglar. The light that emerged through the windows wasn't very bright, for 6:32 in the morning; which only made my task that much difficult.

You see, the thing is, that I couldn't turn the light on: 1. It'd wake up my mother and Collin, and 2. My eyes would burn, and would take a minute or so to re - adjust. One minute which I didn't have to spare.

So I decided it'd be best to just get it over and done with.

Once I finished washing and drying my hair, it was light - only after battling with it. It was such a hassle to wash, dry and clean it. My hair was so unbelievably stubborn, that at times I'd wish I had different genes.

I rushed into Colin's room after finishing with my hair, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, just before I left for school. He was still sleeping, gracefully. Collin was such a humble and jubilant boy, and he'd always footle around, especially with his space toys and duvet. I did the same for my mother, after the events, our family was fragile at the time, and I needed to be there to anchor and guide them.

Although if I had my druthers, I wouldn't have left for another thirty minutes.

The time came, and at that certain point, I was happy and sad. Sad for the reason that my family was broken, and I was the one shining light that needed to repair them. Heal them. Yet happiness shone through me on that dull morning, because I knew I'd see him again. I'd get to see his blue eyes, his lavishly blonde hair, his presence, his....everything.

Everyday I saw him, I was unraveling the clues he'd left behind, to figure him out. His favourite colour was blue, he liked acoustic covers and hated the media with a passion. He was an only child, and never wanted to be the spotlight for attention. Lucas was......perfect.

And at that moment of time, I suddenly realised, that the only thing to complete me, was him. I hated the days we wouldn't spend with each other, yet I loved the days we spent with each other.

A lot of people would commonly say, that I was falling for him. That my heart was craving his soul, presence and personally. I needed him, maybe not as a boyfriend, maybe just as a good friend, or maybe, he needed me. Or perhaps, we needed each other.