𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇

#.. FORTY-THREE

hyeongjun was not reachable anymore. he didn't pick up his calls, he didn't text him back, no signs of life.

and it devastated jooyeon. lying on his bed, he realised how lonely he actually was. his boyfriend was the only one who actually enjoyed hanging out with him.

now he was gone. and not even answering him. how sad.

with the blade in his one hand, he felt the blood pooling out of the deep cuts on his other arm.

he failed hyeongjun - he broke his promise. like the idiot he was. but jooyeon was never destined to fight alone.

and if one retreats from a fight, it is more likely to crumble and lose. jooyeon never felt worse.

he knew that he had no business being that alone on new year's eve. his parents and some guests were downstairs, talking and laughing loudly.

hyeongjun would've been with him right now, they'd lie next to each other, cuddled up in jooyeon's cold room before going outside to watch the fireworks together.

it would've never gone that far, jooyeon would never touch that cursed blade ever again. at least not that day.

and jooyeon would kiss hyeongjun, soft and tenderly. as careful as he could ever be, contrasting to the explosions in the sky, leaving sparkly colorful particles. 

jooyeon would taste the sweet cake he ate before on his lips, he would feel the cold skin of his cheeks on his fingertips.

but most importantly, he'd appreciate the warmth of hyeongjun's body, arms wrapped around the younger.

jooyeon went on his laptop, taking a look at the pictures he transferred on it through his phone.

he stopped scrolling when he reached the most current pictures. hyeongjun, with his neck covered in many hickeys that jooyeon left in their last night.

scrolling further, the next picture was another one of hyeongjun - the tan boy lying on the bed, naked after their first time together, as he looked into the camera with a big smile.

it looked so natural. no forced feelings, no forced actions. jooyeon just wanted a picture of the prettiest statue, his god of beauty.

hyeongjun just accepted it, offering his perfect smile for the last time. jooyeon continued looking at that picture for a long time.

he remembered what it was like, what hyeongjun felt like, the longer he stared at the image.

tears pooled in his eyes, his pants felt tighter. "what a loser i am" he spoke out loud, laughed about it, and closed his laptop.

he decided to quickly take care of his problem, before going downstairs and sit down at the table, too.

otherwise he'd die in misery.

[...]

"the double date was a good idea" jiseok smiled, his arm linked with gunil's as they walked next to seungmin and jungsu, who were holding hands.

there was no better idea than to go to a karaoke place, having rented a room just for the four of them.

a battle of the two couples (seungmin and jungsu having won thanks to the latter's angelic voice).

they were walking towards jiseok's place, his parents not being at home that moment. their plan to arrive before the fireworks started failed.

not even halfway through the way, the loud noises of the fireworks echoed through the city.

gunil checked his clock. "it's 12! happy new year!" he kissed jiseok's head, the younger smiling happily.

deciding to copy the couple, jungsu was surprised that seungmin was the one who initiated a kiss.

the fireworks represented the mess in jungsu's head; he still couldn't believe that seungmin was his.

"y'all can make out at home later!" jiseok laughed. "lets go!"