𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇

#.. EIGHTEEN

the first thing gunil processed was the smell of cigarettes. then he felt the pain of still being alive.

his head ached, making him unable to move. then he gained the ability to hear. seungmin was definitely present.

only he'd have the idea to smoke in a hospital room. and listen to music in the meantime.

"you could've told me" seungmin spoke the moment gunil's eyes fluttered open. he sounded annoyed, but looking at the younger's face, the tears were more than evident.

gunil was ashamed of himself. turning around to stare out of the window, he noticed that it was night.

returning his gaze to the room, he looked at the clock - 2:30 in the night.

"why are you still here?" gunil asked, changing the subject. the tubes connected to his body made it hard to move, he noticed as he tried to shuffle into a more comfortable position.

seungmin sighed, also taking a look at the time. "had a hunch you might wake up. seems like i was right..."

it was silent. gunil was trying his best not to cry, but seungmin apparently struggled with doing that, too.

putting the cigarette out on his arm, he threw it aside. "i'm so glad you're still here" he sobbed, finally allowing himself to break down as he leaned forward to hug gunil the best he could.

this was the cue for gunil to start crying, as well, wrapping his arms around seungmin's body the best he could.

they stayed like that for a long time, seungmin let out everything he held back the last week.

it was just them and the stars up in the sky. completely alone, they finally had the opportunity to show how much they really cared about each other.

backing away again, gunil gently grabbed seungmin's arm. "i don't think that putting out cigs on your arm is a great idea" gunil chuckled, analyzing the many burned dots on his skin.

seungmin grinned back, silent tears still running down his cheeks. "well, i'm not the one who tried killing himself. besides, they don't have ashtrays here."

so all of that happened just in the time where he was at the hospital? "you're addicted, you know that right?"

counting them was a mistake, immediately stopping after he reached 15, knowing there's much more left.

gunil was genuinely concerned. well, he smoked, too, but only with seungmin in nights where they both needed to calm down.

he thought that that was the only time seungmin smoked, too, but apparently not.

this time it was seungmin who looked out of the window, taking a deep breath. "well, maybe.."

then he was the one changing the subject. "don't you think we should call a doctor? tell them you woke up?"

gunil just shrugged with his shoulders, looking around for the "call" button. seungmin found it first, though, pressing it for him.

"i think i should leave now, i sneaked in because visiting time is supposed to be over."

opening the window, seungmin started climbing out of it. seems like there was a pipe right next to gunil's window, that seungmin slid down once he waved gunil goodbye.

just a few moments later, some nurses and a doctor rushed inside.

[...]

seungmin and hyeongjun were surprised to see jungsu sitting down next to them at lunch.

usually, he'd always leave school with jiseok, sitting down in their "jungji corner" - everyone knew to not sit there, as it was their unofficial reserved place.

jungsu noticed their confusion. "jiseok's at the hospital" he just mumbled, mindlessly eating the cafeteria food.

"he's malnourished. don't know, he fainted while taking a shower... apparently having starved himself for almost two weeks."

this didn't surprise the two. it was just a matter of time until jiseok's body gave up.

now all of their friends were struggling. what irony.

"i hope you don't mind that i joined you... i'm not really close to anyone else." seungmin and hyeongjun just waved it off.

why should they mind? jungsu needed someone to rely on after all.

they talked and laughed over the whole lunch break. seems like new friends aren't as hard to find at their school.

it was actually quite comfortable for the three of them. because they quickly found out that each of them is queer, too.

maybe that was the reason they bonded that quickly, feeling okay with not having to hide a part of themselves.