The Happy One (Ashton Irwin)

The Pain

 As Ashton walked inside his mum, little sister, and little brother were gone giving him the perfect opportunity to relieve his stress. He ran up to his room with tears in his eyes. He locked the door to his room and walked into his bathroom. He promised himself many times that he would never cut again, but just in case he gave in he had a razor blade hidden in his medicine cabinet. Just before he pulled his sleeves and removed the bracelets that hid the truth he looked himself in the mirror. With his eyes red and puffy and the taste of his salty tears on his lip he looked back down and got prepared to cut. 

 " I'm worthless, stupid, imperfect, a burden to my family if I wasn't here then my mom wouldn't have to worry about me and think of me as a horrible son. She never said this but I know it's true how could you put up with a kid like m?  I'm the reason why dad left, it's all my fault. Everything is my fault. Whatever I do isn't good enough , whatever I say is never right and it just upsets people. Tonight with Michael was supposed to be fun, but ended up with a fight and Michael losing two of his friends. Not only am I a burden to my family but to my band they probably just act like they like me so I would be their drummer. Drumming...... I'm not even good at that I mess up so many times maybe I should quit. I know I promised myself to never cut again but I deserve this pain, these scars it just proves how broken I am and how worthless I am."

 As Ashton put the cold blade to his left wrist he said " This is for being a weirdo.......this is for being worthless..... this is for causing people pain.....and this is for being a burden." The pain was so intense that he went silent. Ashton quickly heard his mom and siblings come into the door. He quickly cleaned up the blade, washed his face, put on a couple of bandages,and put his bracelets on. Just to be more safe he also put on a long sleeved shirt to make sure nobody could see what he had just done. As he left his room he made sure to put on a smile for his happy family.