Imagine That: Fifth Harmony

Ally • This Is It (1)

(I don't know if you could class this as triggering because it doesn't really contain anything like cutting or eating disorders, but I'm going to write this anyway, just in case. So I suggest to not read this if you are vulnerable or easily influenced)

Y/N's POV

"Goodbye, Y/N," the petite brunette grins at me with that beautiful smile of hers. "I love you."

"I love you more, Ally," I force a smile, squeezing her hand as she is about walk away.

She smiles at me once more before turning around to head inside the taxi that is awaiting her, ready to take her to the studio.

"Wait!" I shout immediately, causing her to turn around and walk back to me. "Can I have a hug before you go?"

She laughs her contagious laughter and nods, before leaning into me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I lace my arms around her waist and pull her close, inhaling the familiar scent of coconut from her neck. That scent is my home.

"You okay, Y/N?" I hear her concerned voice ask me, it sounding muffled due to her head being tucked in my shoulder.

I just nod my head slowly and close my eyes contently, not loosening my grip the slightest. I don't want to leave her, but I know I have to. She is the only one who makes me feel whole; wanted; loved.

Once we pull apart, she smiles at me and her beautiful brown eyes sparkle with happiness. She leans in and presses her soft lips against mine. I kiss her back, allowing all of my love, passion, lust - everything - to be shown. I kiss her like it's the last thing I will ever do, which I guess it is. But she won't know that.

"I really have to go now," she chuckles lightly, pulling away from the kiss. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

I plaster a fake smile on my face, feeling guilty that even when I'm with the woman I love, I can't be truly happy, then nod. "I'll see you later, AllyCat."

She offers me one last smile before descending into the taxi that will take her away from me for good. I wave goodbye to her as the taxi drives away, watching the silhouette of it disappearing into the distance.

Once I know I'm alone, I head back inside my apartment building and walk up the sets of stairs. Tons of thoughts ricochet in my mind as I move faster and faster, but I try to ignore them and only focus on reaching my destination. As I walk right past the floor of my apartment, I know that what I'm about to do is real. It's happening. I then think to how Ally spent the night at my place, and smile at the memory. It's only a small smile, but for a change, it's real.

Rooftop Access.

That's what the door says. I push it open and am immediately hit with a light, cool breeze. I walk closer and closer, slowing down when I reach the ledge. I glance down, seeing how high I am from the ground. This results in butterflies swirling a storm in my stomach, but I ignore them and take a deep breath before looking ahead into the distance. The skyscrapers of the beautiful city fill my vision, and the bright, hot sun shines down to the streets below, almost as if it's teasing me and my feelings.

I was never good enough for Ally. She's a literal ball of sunshine with a huge heart, caring for anything and anyone, not minding if she doesn't know them. That's just who she is. That's why I think she is with me. Out of pity. She found this out once, and convinced me otherwise. It made her really upset, and from then on outwards, I promised her I would never say or think that again. But I have to admit that it does pop in my mind every so often.

We are literally polar opposites and I don't even understand why someone as positive and joyful as her would be with someone as dark and negative as me. She deserves someone a lot better. Someone who isn't me.

But, she's all I've got. I'm worthless. No one else wants me but her, surprisingly. That explains why I have no friends and why my family left me. I'm a nobody that doesn't deserve love.

Ally is a member of Fifth Harmony. She has her whole life ahead of her. She doesn't deserve someone as terrible as me holding her back. She needs support and encouragement, everything I can't give her. Instead, I'm a depressed suicidal freak with nothing but emptiness filling me. It hurts to think that, but it's true.

That's why I need to do this.

I've been planning this for a while now, but I never knew when the right time would be. I almost wouldn't have done it today, because Ally came to my place last night and made me temporarily forget about all the crap in my life. But, then I woke up. I know I need to do this. So, here I am.

I inhale a deep breath of fresh air, making the most of my last taste of real life. I take in the beautiful world before me, admiring it's natural beauty. I'm just a pain for this world, so it's good I am leaving.

This is it.

I close my eyes and immediately feel relaxed. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm doing the right thing. I feel like I'm making the right decision. The outside world is a blur to me. The sounds of beeping horns and tweeting birds fade into the distance; not even the loud beeping of a car horn brings me out of my daze.

This is it.

I take a step forward and feel nothingness below me as I step off the building and fall. I'm falling. The cold wind hits me in the face as I fall. It's happening. And there's no stopping it.

I want my last thought to be of my beautiful girlfriend. The love of my life. The only one who ever loved me. Her beautiful brown eyes and perfect smile fill my mind and stay there. She will be so much happier now.

"Y/N!" I hear a voice shout. It sounds a lot like Ally. Wait. Isn't she supposed to be at the studio?

I open my eyes and catch a glimpse of a crying Ally on the sidewalk. I don't want her to see this. She isn't supposed to see. Why did she have to see thi-

//

Okay, I'm crying. I cried writing this and I'm crying reading this. Oh, and in case you didn't get it, it ends like that because it's showing that you died. So yeah lol.

Also, I'm sorry this is a little dark. I hadn't posted an Ally imagine in a while and I found this written up so yep.

I may as well take this as the time to say that I'm here for you if you ever need to rant about something to someone. I will always try my best to give the best advice and I love you all so much, even if you don't know me.