Our Darkest Deeds (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 17

After much effort, I have managed to finish my paper, now I just have to type and then print it. I was washing the dishes late at night, while listening to music when Morgan knocks at my door.

Yes," I said while standing in the door way.

"Can I come in?"

"Now is not a good time," I whisper softly.

"Oh sorry, I thought you'd want to go out and get fresh air after everything."

"I'm sorry," I say crestfallen.

"It's okay," she says and start to walk away but I stop her.

"Give me a minute," I close the door, rush to wash my hands and then put on my jacket. "Niall!" I call up, "I'll be out, mind finishing the dishes? Thanks," I walk out the door, closing it behind me.

We walk side by side in silence, the night so beautiful and the stars sparkle brightly.

"So..." I start my hand behind my back.

She turns to me, and I do the same; and suddenly we are just two people standing under a tree in the middle of the night not really saying anything.

"I know you have a lot on your plate, and I don't want to add more –"

"But?" I raise an eyebrow.

"But something has been on my mind and I just want to say it."

"Remember when I said that now is not a good time?"

She nods, "Well now is really not a good time." I look around me, tugging the jacket around my body as if that would protect me from lurkers in the street.

"Still," she said. I bite my lips waiting for what she has to say, "I love you Lea, and I want to be with you."

I look up at her, my eyes widen in shock just from hearing the words coming out of her mouth. I mean, I had a feeling, and I thought that I would be the one to say it first under the circumstances but damn.

"I could die tomorrow, you know?" I blurt out the first thing I thought of, "Which is why I keep telling you this is not a good time."

"But if you tell me how you feel now, at least we'd die knowing we love each other."

"Who says I do?" I look at her dumbfounded. "Does this have anything to do with Jean?" I ask, looking at her skeptically. "Because if it is, this is just shit."

"Yes, no." she says then shrugs, "maybe but I do mean it, I mean every word."

"So now that you have gotten this off your chest, this is like what." I pause, "your claim on me."

"No, no." she stutters, "Please, just listen to me."

"I am listening," I cross my arms against my chest.

"I've always loved you, I swear but the thought of losing you to someone else; I just wanted you to hear it."

I bite my lips thinking about what she just said, which make sense but I still can't figure out why now.

"You don't have to give me an answer, just think about it." She leans over and kisses me on the cheek then leaves.

I'm beginning to hate when she does that.

As I sit here in front of my bed, my legs crossed and headphones in my ear; I'm not sure what it is that I am doing, my phone is in my hand and I don't know who to call.

I've not talked to Hannah since she revealed to us what happened, and even if I were to call her; I don't know what to say. The last thing I want to be talking about right now is Morgan.