Our Darkest Deeds (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 36

I stand in my empty room, which looks so big with all my belongings missing, but not as big as Charlie's bedroom. I flinch at the memory, the scars of my ordeal still too raw to mention. I hear a creak in the floorboards and turn to face my mom; she looks older, her face withdrawn and her cheeks hollow.

I guess almost losing a daughter does that to you, not that I would but we've been through a lot. She comes to me and carefully places her arms around me, bringing me in for a hug, one I need more than I'd like to admit.

I'm leaving today, I've said my goodbyes so I should be happy, but I am not.

Mom and I stand like this a while, simply taking in the silence, and then she breaks away to look at me. I know she is still finding it hard to see past the bruises I have, but maybe the reminder will do her good. I needed her and she had left me, something I'm sure she will pay for an eternity.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

I shrug not really knowing; numb, I guess. We are leaving this home that I'm used to, my neighborhood and people I've known for a really long time. I still don't know where it is mom is taking us.

"Morgan called again," she says.

I look up and frown. After what happened two days ago, I don't care, not anymore.

"Why don't you call her? She might have something to tell you that may be important. Or her life could be in danger or something."

I roll my eyes, turning away and look out the window where I see Jean and my dad packing up the final boxes into the removal lorry we hired. Morgan had plenty of chances to tell me something important and she didn't; now I just want to move on with my life and start anew.

I just want to hear it, why can't she say it? "I want to be with you." Why is that so hard? I understand that she's not allowed to date until eighteen, but I would still be happy knowing that she actually consider me as a potential lover. If she doesn't want to be with me, then why humiliate me like that by having me meet her mother.

"I doubt it, mom." I clear my throat, "there's nothing left to say."

I feel a squeeze of mom's reassuring hand on my shoulder, "if you're sure." She says before walking away.

"Mom," I call out before she leaves me be. "Are you okay now with me being interested in girls?" I ask, letting my eyes fall to the floor.

I do not want to look at her and see disgust and disappointment on her face.

"Girls? I thought it was just one," she says and I can feel a smile upon her lips, which is surprising.

"You know what I mean," I said, biting my lip.

"Do you love her?"

I don't say anything.

"Lea," my mom probes.

"Would it be a problem if I did?"

Once again, I feel her soft touch upon me. It seems since I left the hospital, she can't keep from giving me attention; "I almost lost you. I don't care anymore if you end up marrying a girl, a boy or both as long as I get to see you happy."

With that being said, she crushed me into her with silent tears rolling down our eyes.
*****
"Hey."

I spy Hannah sit cross legged in the center of the living room and I go sit beside hr. she quickly tries to hide the photo of her mom and dad that I know she keeps safe in her purse.

"How you holding up, Han?" I ask.

She looks at me with watery eyes.

"Shouldn't I be the one to ask you that question?"