I was laying stomach down on Hayden and my shared bed, tears stained on my cheeks and my eyes were red and puffy. I was just zoning out, feeling the after breakdown peace take over me, until I was bought out of it by a soft hand that was placed on my lower back. "Baby, what's wrong?" Hayden's concerned voice made all the tension in my body flood over me again, and all the emotions washed over me, threatening to drown me. But I felt foolish, foolish for being so vulnerable in his sight. I wanted to show him that I was strong, but in that moment I could find no strength in my body or mind. Only vulnerability and weakness. His hand traces small comforting circles on my back, trying to both get me to warm up to him but also to tell me he was being patient. A bit after I finally spoke up in a quiet tone, almost a whisper. "I can't bare my body or looks anymore Hayden. It's getting to hard to carry the weights of it" I whispered and I swear my voice cracked, but I tried to cover it up. But Hayden heard the vulnerability in my voice clear as day and his touch softened even more, if it was even possible. "Baby you're beautiful, inside out" he said back, his tone was matching mine but his was confronting instead of weak. And I wanted to believe him, but as much as I tried I couldn't. Every part of me dreaded myself. "Please baby, please don't think you're not worthy..." he spoke up again and gently ran the back of his knuckles over my tear stained cheek. His fingers tucked a small piece of hair behind my ear and returned to his comforting motion. "Why do you love me, I'm not easy. I push you away when I feel overwhelmed and I don't know how to open up" I whispered boldly and he instantly pulled me into his embrace. "Don't say that, I love you, even the parts you don't think are worth of love" he said a bit more firmly this time. "I'm sorry Hayden..." I cracked and his arms pulled me closer to him while his hand ran through the bottom of my hair. His lips placed a soft kiss to my forehead before speaking up again. "Don't apologise, I just need you to know that no matter what, I love you. Always" he whispered and I buried my face in his chest feeling the tension in my body slowly drain out of me. "Please don't leave me..." I said in a mutter mixed with the crack in my voice. I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to escape my eyes but I was unsuccessful, of course. "I'd never leave you, ever. I promise." He spoke up and he nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, taking in my scent. I didn't respond, instead I let my body fully melt against his, and he gladly kept me tightly against him. "I love you" I whispered feeling my eyes get heavy, and he noticed the change in my tone. "I love you more, get some sleep baby..." he whispered back and ran his hand through my hair, and I without hesitation closed my eyes, feeling my body slowly drift of to a peaceful sleep.
