I woke up to a loud bang on my door, I groaned still keeping my eyes shut as I pulled my blanket over my head to reduce the noise. But the more I ignored the person outside, the more intense the knocking got. Frustrated I pulled the blanket off my body and grabbed my robe that hung beside my bed, as I wrapped it around my body before walking over to the door. I opened it slowly and to my surprise I saw Anakin standing outside. I couldn't read his expression like I usually could, and it gave me a wired feeling in my gut, like something was up. "Anakin?" I said quietly, my voice held tiredness and softness. Anakin didn't hesitate to push through my door without permission and it surprised me, no words had left his mouth, but I knew by his body language that something was up. I just couldn't put my finger on what he was so worked up about. "Anakin" I repeated and his eyes fell onto mine and he let out a frustrated sigh as he ran his hands through his dirty blond lochs. His gaze left mine almost refusing to hold eye contact and it made my gut twist. "Look.. I needed to talk to you about something.." he finally spoke up, his voice was low and raspy and held a hint of vulnerability in it. I took a step forward slowly closing the distance between us. "Yeah, what's wrong?" I asked concerned and he sighed to my obliviousness, he leaned back against the wall behind him and looked at me with a cold expression. "Friends don't do what we do. Friends don't have sex all the time, they don't feel jealous when they see the other with a different person, they don't look at each other the way we do. This is not a friend thing y/n" his voice was high and held anger behind it, but not anger he wanted to put out on me, but it was more to himself. I was completely frozen for a moment taking in his words, I knew it made sense but we couldn't be together. It was against the Jedi order and we could get killed for it.
I let out a shaky sigh and looked at him with conflict in my gaze and he immediately saw it. His eyes held vulnerability and frustration, but also desperation and it made me feel guilty. "But we both know we can't be more than that Anakin.." I said in a low whisper and he let out almost a groan as he took a step closer to me. "Bullshit, we can be. You're just so worried about the order that you push away your feeling!" He snapped at me and it caught me off guard but he didn't seem to care. His bottled up emotions were now flowing out of him and he couldn't stop them. "Don't you see it, I can't keep pretending we're friends this isn't normal y/n. And so what about the order, we can keep a secret!" He said in a raised voice and he was now so close to me I could feel the frustration radiating off him. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing left but a small shaky sigh. "Please y/n, I need you. I can't keep pretending anymore, you're making me weak." He said his voice was now softer but the desperation in his voice was clear as day, he looked at me like he was about to completely break down.
I realised that no words were going to leave my mouth, so in stead I pulled him into a tight hug, and he didn't hesitate to melt into it. His arms wrapped around my waist and he buried his face in the crook of my neck, taking in the familiar scent. "Please.." he whispered and I ran my hand through his hair making a small groan leave his lips. "Okay.. but we need to be careful" I finally spoke up and his arms tightened around me in a possessive but loving way. "Yes.. we'll be careful, as long as we don't pretend anymore" he said back placing a soft kiss on my neck. A small smile grew on my lips. I knew this was going to be difficult, but we were here. Together. And that's what mattered the most.
