[Blue Archive] Abydos' Suicidal Hopeful

Suicide Seeker EP.48

"...It's noisy outside..."



Black suit, sitting at his desk and working, muttered as he looked out the window.



"Hmm, I see. So you made that choice."



"Really... You still like to gamble, just like back then."



"Kukuku."



"Well, our deal ends here..."



"I'll be waiting, Takanashi Sora."



"As long as you walk that path,"



"Our connection won't end."





















"Ugh... My ears are ringing..."



Even though I threw it right after activating the alarm, the loud noise still assaulted my ears.



'Still, I definitely got their attention.'



It was so loud I could hear it even with my ears covered, so it must have worked.



The worm down there,



"Are you crazy?!"



Or the one who covets my body.



I scoffed at her panicked expression and replied.



"Do I give a fuck?"



"Wh-what?!"



"I've been behaving myself lately and not cursing, so you must've forgotten..."



This is the real me.



After all,



"I'm a suicidal person. I've always been crazy."



It doesn't matter what I do now.



"B-but!!"



Hearing my words, she panicked and tried to stop me.



"If you die now, you can't go home, right?! Is that okay with you?"



'I knew that.'



Well, I wouldn't have tried this method if that weren't the case.



"...Yeah, as you said, if I die now, I won't be able to go home."



Even if that was a lie.



Since I had no way of knowing if it was a lie or not, attempting suicide was risky.



'Though it doesn't seem like they were lying.'



"T-then!"



"But like I said before, don't care."



Of course, not being able to go home is scary.



It was my only goal, and I didn't want to give up on it, which is why I created this situation.



But,



"I've grown quite attached to this place..."



"Sorry, but I'd rather die here than have my body taken over."



"...Y-you're crazy...!"



"Didn't I say? I'm crazy."



Ever since I reincarnated here, ever since I started living this unwanted new life,



 Abydos suicide seeker has been crazy from the start.



"Now, choose."



"...Choose what...?"



"It's obvious, a choice that will determine our future."



I scoffed and said,



"So, choose."



"Will you return Yume and disappear, or will you die here with me?"



"...You were planning this from the start..."



"Isn't that obvious?"



With the situation heavily favoring her, the only choice I had was



to gamble with my life on the line.



"By the way, you should give up on taking my body. The giant worm will arrive faster than that."



"......"



"So, what will it be?"






*






"Ouch, my ears... I should turn this off now."



-Fzzz!



"Hueeeeeeeeeee!!! It was scary!!! I was so scared!!!"



"Ah, yeah... I see."



'I'm glad she gave up so quickly...'



I comforted Yume, who had reappeared and was crying loudly, and thought to myself.



Unlike me, who expected it to drag on longer,



-----



"Haa... This is my loss."



"Alright, I'll release Yume."



-----



She gave up surprisingly easily.



'Is she planning something else?'



She probably hasn't given up on taking over my body, so she might be planning for the next opportunity.



But that's a story for later.



Right now,



"Oof!"



It's time to enjoy everything being back to normal.



"Ugh... I feel alive again."



Being super healthy is definitely better than being sickly.



"Sniff... Um... I have a question..."



"Huh? What is it?"



"...If she hadn't given up, what would you have done?"



"If she hadn't given up? Why ask that all of a sudden?"



"...I was just curious..."



"Hmm... Well..."



'I'd have gone through a lot of trouble...'



"I would have won."



"...What?"



"Why? Don't you believe me?"



"...."



"Well, it's not unreasonable to think that."



But I didn't say it without thinking.



"Yume, do you believe in fate?"



"F-fate?"



"Yeah, fate."



Or destiny, as some call it.



"There are people who don't believe in fate, but I do."



I believe in the fate that I will never die, no matter what I do.



And it was because of that belief that I could go through with this gamble.



"B-but..."



"You think it's too much? Well... I guess you could think that way."



I thought so too, at first.



But after a year of failed suicide attempts, I began to doubt,



The deal with black suit turned those doubts into belief,



And seeing the future she showed me turned belief into certainty.



"Think about it, how many times have I tried to kill myself?"



At least once a day, sometimes three.



And yet, I couldn't die.



No matter how close I got to succeeding,



Something always interfered.



As if I wasn't destined to die here.



"Those who seek death shall live, and those who seek life shall surely die."



"What?"



"It's a famous saying from the world I used to live in."



There's a reason why famous sayings are famous.



In the past when I wanted to die, I couldn't,



And when my halo disappeared and I wanted to live, I came close to death as if it were a lie.



And most of all,



In the dozens and hundreds of futures she showed me,



I died dozens and hundreds of times,







But not once was it by suicide.