How To Save A Life: A Louis Tomlinson FanFiction

Chapter 28: Sleep

Louis's POV:

As soon as we fell onto my bed to sleep, Bells cuddled into my chest, falling asleep. We held each other tight, not wanting the morning to come. It was my best and worst night of sleep since the start of the X-Factor.

At first, I couldn't fall asleep, knowing that when I opened my eyes, Bell would have to go away again. 'But it's late, and I'm trying not to sleep, cuz I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away...'

But at the same time, the night was perfect. I had Bells wrapped in my arms. I watched her sleep. She was smiling in her sleep, and I wondered what she was smiling at. "Perfect family..." She murmured in her sleep. I frowned. What kind of father would I be? If I made it through the X-Factor, I would be gone often, on tour. If I didn't, I would have no job. What kind of father would those options make? A crappy one. Either I would almost never see my child, or I wouldn't be able to support our family... 

My thoughts were interrupted by Bell's eyes fluttering open. She took in her surroundings, then noticed my pensive state. "Babe, what's the matter?" She asked, concern in her voice. Concern for the terrible boyfriend she had, and going to be terrible father. Why did she worry about me?... I wasn't worth it... "Babe, tell me now. It's late, and me not getting sleep isn't healthy for the baby. You not getting sleep isn't healthy for you. So either you tell me, or we both stay up, jeopardizing three people's lives..." She threatened.

"It's nothing, love. I- I was just thinking..." I started to wave off her question, but stopped when I saw her unbelieving glare. "Fine. I was thinking... about our future... Bells, if I make it through the X-Factor, I won't be around for you or the child. If I don't, how do I support my family? I'm bound to be a shitty father and husband."

I looked as Bell's face turned from surprise, probably from the fact that I cussed. I didn't cuss often. Then her face quickly filled with happiness. I guess because me saying husband implied that I wanted to marry her one day, and I did. Then after a moment, her eyes filled with tears.

"Babe, what's the matter?" I asked, confused by her sudden switches in emotions.

"Lou... well... um... what if I don't live long enough to have our baby?..." She asked, and I just stared at her. What do I say? How are you supposed to respond? There isn't a book that gives you directions on life, dammit.

"You'll be alright baby. You'll be fine. You'll live. You can't give up." I said. She stared at me, like she had something to tell me, but couldn't. I knew what it was. "Look, Bells, I knew from the moment you told me, that you're cancer was worse than you wanted me to know. So, well... Last night, I called Justin, that doctor guy. I asked him to tell me how bad your cancer was..." Bells looked at me in surprise. "He was actually really excited that I called. He said that he was looking over your scans, and he realized that he misinterpreted them... He didn't want to call, because it was late, but you actually are only in the early stages of stage three cancer... He said he told you it was stage four." Bell started to cry, so happy.

"Lou... I wanted to tell you, I really did. I just... I was scared you would stay, and not come here... I was scared you would ruin your life to stay with me. And... stage three.. well I might be able to fight it off, then... Stage three means I could either die around the same time I'm due for the baby, or I could possibly live..." She said, unsure of how she should feel.

"It'll be alright, babe. We'll all be okay. We'll get our fairy tale ending!" I smiled, and somehow, through all the problems we were having, I knew we would...

Bells fell asleep in my arms, relieved from not having to hide anything from me anymore, and happy because she knew we'd make it through all the problems in our messed up lives... I watched her sleep, and for the first time in months, my mind felt at ease... I fell asleep, happy, through all our problems, because we were together. It was the best sleep I'd had in forever! No nightmares, no waking up, it was perfect....

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A/N: Short, I know, and boring, I know that too. Sorry. Its kinda a bit more calm than all the drama? I just felt like each chapter was filled with drama, and I wanted a bit of a calm chappie to just slow it all down, you know what I mean?... The next chapter, I think will be about the same drama wise, but it'll be longer... Hope you are enjoying my story! Kiss Kiss! Love ya! xxx

-Gretchen

oh, and WELCOME @HelloImJay ! I hope you enjoy the story! Tell Ariana I will miss her! xxx