Lights, Camera, Action [N.H]

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are you emotional??? cause i am???!?!? my last chapter (minus epilogue still to come). it's a short and sweet one. i hope you guys have loved lights, camera, action as much as i have. i cannot believe it's finally all over. i am so proud of myself for being able to complete an entire book (despite the ending being a bit rushed, I'm still super proud of it). i cannot believe all the work that has gone into it. the countless hours of writing, pinterest board creating, manip image making (yes, i made manips. if you look at the polaroids, you can tell which ones i've done choppy editing on). i have so many words to say but overall, i cannot wait to see where my next writing journey takes me. i want to lastly just say thankyou to each and every person who has read this book. whether you've been with me from the very beginning and very patiently waiting for this chapter (thankyou by the way), or only just started reading, i am so SO grateful. i love each and every one of you. i have no idea what my next book will be like or about, but i am so happy to finally end this one. it's been a journey. a long one (TWO and a HALF YEARS + 345 thousand words later??? like WHAT?) but a beautiful one nonetheless. thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. i love you all. for the last time, enjoy this chapter of lights, camera, action :,) 

darian <3

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The comparison of the two flights I took within the last 24 hours was shocking. Like an ice cold bath, the physical shock to my system was alarming. I barely even packed a bag, I just shoved random things in an overnight bag, grabbing my passport back out from my handbag and racing my ass to the airport.

Every time I'd flown with Niall, I was literally with him. Which is why, when I was told to take myself to the VIP area of the airport, I was stunned. I had no idea where to go, and I was told to get myself there as quickly as possible. A private plane was the only way I was getting back to Ireland in time. Claire texted me not long after I got off the phone with Niall. It was short and sweet, directly to the point.

Claire: airport ASAP. they will wait.

Daphne: theyll wait?????

Claire: once u get there theyll take off.

Claire: dont ever leave us again xx

Daphne: love u too

Daphne: ill see u soon <3

The entire ride was filled with nerves. Jitters. I was practically crapping my pants with excitement, just like the first time I ever met Niall. Only this time, I wasn't naive. I knew so much more, he meant so much more to me than I ever could have anticipated. I loved him, love. Currently. I wanted nothing more than to love him for as long as our lives would allow. I wasn't stupid to the reality, it was going to be hard, gnawing, and painful, to navigate a life that was normal for us. But it was something I desperately needed to figure out.

I wanted to be independent, but the one day I spent apart from him made me practically burst open with realisation that the two ideals were not exclusive. I wanted him in my life, just as much as I wanted to be my own person. They would both be possible, especially considering how desperate Niall was to make me happy. There wasn't a mountain he wouldn't move, or an ocean he wouldn't seperate. Our conversation was so delicate, I wanted to express everything I'd been feeling.

I wish I'd done it sooner. I hate the wound I created, the doubt that shadowed our relationship for the brief period we were apart. It was miles away from a breakup, but being so in limbo made me physically nauseous. I wish I hadn't done that to us, but I suppose I had a penchant for being difficult.

All I knew now, was that this was my path.

This was the way it was going to be. Us, together, versus our problems. I was itching at the thought of seeing Niall again. To apologise, to beg on my knees for forgiveness. The need consumed me, the feeling inside that I was to blame for this. The distance and the doubt that I created, I wish I'd never done it in the first place. I couldn't even think back to how I'd made such a problem from nothing.