They Still Think This is a Dream (Jax x Reader)

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TW: Body dysmorphia/dysphoria

"Goodnight, Jax."

"Night, prince/princess."

I shut the door to my bedroom behind me, and sat down against the door. My face was incredibly red. I couldn't believe the events of today.

"How could he even like me..? He has to be joking.. Nobody could ever feel anything for this piece of crap.." I thought to myself, trying to make the fuzzy feelings disappear. "Why is my face so darn red? Ughh feelings.."

I sighed heavily, then got up and put on my pajamas. As I was walking over to my bed, I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror. I frowned and started poking at my chubby cheeks and double chin. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying as I turned to my side and saw my stomach sticking out. I angrily rubbed my eyes hard to keep the tears from falling out of my eyes. I sighed and stormed over to my bed and plopped down head first.

"Why do I have to look like this? No matter what I eat I just can't get rid of it. I get burnt out too easily when I workout.. It's just no use.. How am I supposed to 'get used to your body' and 'love myself' when I look like this?"

I heaved the blankets over me and shut my eyes tight, trying to escape my mind and enter a world of dreamless sleep.

***

I woke up feeling pretty numb. I wasn't sure why, though. I had the best night of my life last night.

"It's all in your head.." I thought to myself.

I sat there for a few minutes, thoughts buzzing all around in my head. They seemed to be going 100MPH and I couldn't grasp them. It sounded like a crowded city in my ears; my thoughts became louder and louder over time. I groaned, then I got up begrudgingly and put on my clothes. I looked at the mirror for a brief moment, then I grabbed one of my blankets and shoved it on top of the mirror. Out of sight, out of mind.

I opened my door and stepped outside, another heavy sigh escaping my lips. My heavy heart lifted up when I saw Jax sitting on the couch, watching everyone walk around to get ready for the day. I walked down the liminal hallway and started approaching the vibrantly colored couches. I awkwardly waved when I saw that he spotted me- I couldn't help but smile when I saw his ears perk up at my sight- I picked up my pace, then sat down beside him.

"Good morning, my little menace." He said with a smirk.

"Morning." I replied, a little too quickly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Well isn't somebody just a little ray of sunshine today."

"Good morning."

"What made you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" He asked with a slight hint of genuine curiosity.

"Nothing. Just feeling a little off is all." I said, only partially telling the truth.

"Not buying it."

I wasn't in the mood to argue. "Fine. I just... I'm just feeling a little insecure right now."

"And what could you possibly be insecure about?"

"My body. I just feel like I'm built wrong. I feel fat." I mumbled.

"Ok, and?"

"What?"

"Who cares if you're a little chubby? It's what matters on the inside. A little fat isn't gonna end the world. Plus: ya shouldn't care about what other people think."